Dark clouds rolling in

I liked today!

Today was unexpected good weather, and a trip to the market which yielded lots of summer fruits. Strawberries, mangoes, nectarines, cherries, yum. A sense of a productiveness, a purchase of things to read, breakfast-turned-brunch-turned-lunch meet up with 2 fascinating people in a nice cafe, banana bread and maple syrup, a walk back to the city that segued into a stroll through a park, and a sprawling out on green grass, sunglasses perched on the nose and their voices mingling and comforting, a lazy sense of drowsiness and ease. Then, iced-chocolate and then dinner and a walk back home, and all throughout the day my meals were paid for by generous people. How could I not like it?

Damn, I've had it going good! I must say thank you to God for that. Yes, I'm still worried about The Job and the growing amount of expense projections I'll have to present to dad, but these past few days have been very nice. Why?

1. The weather has been up and down, rain showers here and there, but all in all it has accumulated into an average weather of slightly sunny days which are not too hot.

2. The people I've been spending time with are people I am comfortable around and find fascinating, I am at ease with them and they provide good conversation such that I find myself blabbing about things like religion, and relationships, and tentative mentions about(ooooh!) sex. Me! Mentioning sex in conversation! To another person! Liberating? Inappropriate?

3. My family will be here in a couple weeks and I am SO EXCITED I cannot stop being excited. Part of me is scared that being over-eager will jinx things and the whole trip will backfire, but no, I am still excited. I really hope it works out well, that everyone enjoys themselves and that we have well-spent fun. I've been a planning whore, mapping out the trip itinerary using Excel, wielding funds provided by my dad like some crazed travel agent to book tickets, activities, car rentals, thinking of places to eat, wondering if I've worked out the hook turn when driving in the city, etc.

4. I bought this book which is a collection of essays by Greg Saunders, and it's proving to be an interesting, if not entertaining read.

5. An Interesting Encounter happened yesterday in the form of a young, boyish-looking missionary from the States who asked me if I believed in God and attempted to convey how he feels God's love through the Holy Ghost, I think that's how he put it? I asked him a couple questions, which he readily answered. It wasn't, unfortunately, enlightening in the sense that it piqued or furthered my existing considerations about faith and religion. When I asked him if I needed to be a Christian to be considered good he let out a laugh, as if slightly surprised by the question, and gave a polite answer that, while promoting the peacefulness of his faith, ultimately skirted what I was asking.

To be honest, I was more interested in asking about him. Why does he do what he do? Where does he get the courage to go up to complete strangers, some who may be hostile to the very idea of organised religion, to spread the word about Christianity? Why do missionaries always have to wear ties and shirts and socks and laced-up black shoes, even when it's really hot and it must be so uncomfortable to do so? Where does the solidness of his faith come from? Was there a specific event or did it just manifest softly?

But I didn't ask any of those questions, and after leaving me with a number on the back of a cardboard picture of Jesus Christ so I can call 'whenever I want to talk or learn more about God', he shook my hand in that very polite way of his, told me to have a nice day, and went on his way.

Oklah, bye.

Flying stringrays

I have to go to Okinawa one day. To see this.


And it won't be like the video, with the soft song in the background magnifying the serene whale sharks and flying stingrays. It will be more matter-of-fact, more people posing against the glass taking pictures, or marveling with a much repeated comment, but still. I have a feeling it will still be pretty good.

I have some really good friends. The kind that stay quiet and listen to me as I sigh and moan for the umpteenth time over my so-called predicaments. Who reserve their own judgment to let me vent, who offer reassuring words and sound advice. For that I am grateful, and for that I'll try to change.

They are kind. They spoil me. They make me feel like I'm a primary character, instead of an extra.

I must admit, I am worried, this period between undergraduate studies and working life is a bit nerve-wracking, and I have frazzled thoughts,procrastination, and disheveled hair. But I suppose it's no more than anyone else in my position would be feeling, so biarlah macam tu and let's chill for a moment. Watch fish in Okinawa.