sentimental contemplation

Today we had the parent-teachers meeting at sunway. so mom and i loped off to college tadi, got most of my results.

i'm thankful for my results, but let me just say this here and now. if the General Paper was a person, i'd wrap my hands around his(i assume it's a he) neck, and squeeze as hard as i can. May he asphyxiate. Wargh.

Anyways, yesterday i couldn't sleep, so started thinking about some stuff. soundtrack of that moment of contemplation:


I love this song so much, i've played it 81 times. in a row.

So anyway, i remembered something yesterday. I used to have this classmate during form 2, very peculiar person. He once asked another classmate of mine, this cute girl, to go steady with him. she said no, so that was that. A couple weeks later, he asks a different girl(another classmate, mind you) to be his girlfriend, and she also declines. Yet a few weeks later he asks a different girl(STILL in the same class) to be his. Third time's a charm? nope. she said no too.

Well then, he was heartbroken about the whole ordeal for a while, having scored a hattrick in rejections. But did he learn from it? nope. a couple months later rumors were flying around that he was pursuing this girl from another class. wah. very perseverant ah? Yeah. at least she wasn't from the same class.

There was quite a few people like that in school. rather than liking a certain person whole-heartedly and therefore pursuing them, it's as if they only like the idea of having someone they can call their boyfriend/girlfriend. it doesn't matter who it is, as long as that person is partially attractive and isn't anti-social. as long as ade someone, sudahla.

i wonder if that's something you outgrow or are those people still the same?

i've said before in a previous post that i've never had a boyfriend, and i'm not looking for one. proud of it, babe :p anyway, i also mentioned some of the characteristics i hoped my partner would have, if i ever found him. but yesterday, i thought about it, and asked myself, am i expecting too much? am i subconciously hoping and expecting, in a way, a Mr. Perfect to show up at my doorstep someday?

Because if i am, than that's just stupid. there's no such thing as perfection. isn't it the imperfections of a person and how they deal, cope and define themselves with it, isn't THAT what differentiates one person from the other and therefore makes them attractive to us? isn't that what makes us truly love someone? Because i think to love someone, among other things, is to accept their flaws as well. right?

i think there are also some people who concentrate too much on finding that perfect someone. That's why when we meet somebody who has the potential of being that perfect someone we've been looking for, we tend to portray them or see them in a certain light, perhaps even deluding ourselves into believing they have certain characteristics or qualities. then, when you finally see that they're not perfect after all, and that they're actually different from how we expected, we just end up disappointed.

It's quite a conflicting matter, actually. on one hand, you've got the people who don't care how their partner is, as long as there IS a partner. on the other hand, you've got people who are so intent on finding that one true love(excuse the cliche), that they reject anyone who fails to live up to their standards. I mean, this is if your talking about extremities la. In reality, i guess most people are somewhere in between.

I just have to ask a question. where do you draw the line between having certain standards for your potential partner and not being too uptight or picky?

uh. right. this may have been a little too much contemplation,heh. but i really just had to get it off my chest.

i guess that in general, i think that now, at 18 going on 19 years of age, i put a lot of faith into the whole soulmate thing. this may sound corny, but i really do think there IS someone out there for each of us, and it's just a matter of time and God's permission that we'll find him/her. even with all the divorces flying around now, i still believe in this. i don't know. just optimistic, i guess. Besides, isn't our jodoh already pre-ordained by God? so yeah. no worries.

hark at me talking about jodoh and stuff. bukan main lagi, ek?