whipped into a frenzy

stop. pause. suspend. berhenti. red light. freeze. take five. whoah there, horsie.

third semester is just crazy, man.

not to say that the atmosphere is crazy, like we're all scurrying around frantically with disheveled hair, careening from class to class. because we're not. we're learning a lesser amount of subjects as compared to last semester, so my timetable this time around is in a way freer. but still.

Work is steadily piling on like nobody's business, and while it's not as if i didn't have a lot of work last time, i feel like i'm becoming a zombie. a 'belajar-makan-homework-tido-belajar' zombie. there's just no time to do anything else! well, yes, i can choose to do other things, like how i spent my evening yesterday finishing up my inaugural Artemis Fowl book kindly lent by Shao, but at the expense of slacking off my homework and resulting in a backlog of things to do the next day. in other words, i can try and stare homework down and watch as it backs away, snarling. but the minute i turn around it'll lunge and eat my head. bad analogy? ooff.

better write a checklist, just in case i forget. a weekend is approaching, and that's dangerous business. i can be easily lulled into complacency:
1.study intergration and differential equation and algebra for maths test.
2.tweak up econs presentation.
3.finish up vector homework.
4.find last semester's accounting homework. marginal costing, i think.
5.i know without doubt we'll be given econs homework tomorrow, so do that too.

My AS results are coming out on August 9th, gah. i don't see the point of prematurely worrying about it, but all of a sudden a lot is riding on these results. i can't apply for good unis if i get mediocre results, yes? (i can hear 'duh!' in the background).that reminds me, must finalise uni options soon and write personal statement draft.

the talk about oxbridge applications given by a rep from MABECS very much spooked me. candidates have to have a PASSION for the degree subject matter they're applying for. PASSION ah? candidates trying for economics should be well read on current economic issues, with The Economist and the business section of newspapers encouraged daily reads. business section? interviews are technical with in-depth questioning on subject matter, and interviewers may take you further and further in to see how well you think on your own feet. technical?think on your own feet?

too bad we have to be sincere and truthful when writing our pesonal statement. i would have added 'did a stint with Mercy Malaysia and Unicef after SPM' as well as 'speaks malay, english, french and conversational tagalog.'

there's this one scene in Grey's, second season i think, the part where Christina lost her pregnancy. there's this scene where she's still supposed to be off-duty, confined to bedrest, but she's all antsy and tries to sneak in some patients. throughout her whole ordeal with losing the baby she didn't shed a tear and kept insisting she was fine, but then at one point, after confirming she was right about something, she just burst into tears and couldn't stop crying, wanting to stop but sobs still came out.

that sounds very appealing. crying undeliberately and without control. not that there's a specific reason at the moment for wanting to do that ke ape, but i think we're all entitled to a little breakdown once in a while.

it's my party and i'll cry if i want to,
cry if want to, cry if i want to,
you would cry too if it happened to you!