Proper Groceries

I have so much I want to blurt out here, so much thoughts pouring out at the moment.

I want to talk about the awesomeness of the Coldplay concert, and my excitement for Kings Of Leon, and I want to get off my chest the fact it bugs me when I read blogs where people condemn them for becoming too 'mainstream'. I don't think I'm all bugged up about it because I am against that opinion, I don't really care, but I do get irritated when I read blog posts made by authors who must think they are positively omniscient.

I want to talk about clubbing. The other day I asked Kelly whether she would be open-minded enough to go clubbing, and now in retrospect, I cringe at how badly I worded the question. Just because a person doesn't go clubbing, that doesn't mean that they are closed-minded. It's strange isn't it, coming from a background of schooling that positively condemned clubbing to the pits of maksiat and therefore hell, and then being exposed to another section of society who find it perfectly fine and adopt it as a regular activity? Clubbing doesn't have to equal alcohol and maksiat. Does it? One the one hand, one can argue that of course it doesn't. We can go for the music, we can go for dancing, we can go for the good times with good friends. I went clubbing once. I didn't drink, I had a good time watching Shao doing the running man. It wasn't a great experience though(it was a mediocre club with mediocre music).

I want to talk about how I won't give in to this shit that is self-pity. I will be better than this, I'll study harder, I'll try to be friendlier, I'll try to have more courage. I won't give up, I won't. I'll pray to Allah, I'll listen to good music, I'll write and paste things in my journal, I'll try not to stop even in the face of discouraging circumstances.

I want to talk about guys and how I have this deep longing to actually experience being liked by someone properly. Yeah. bodoh, kan? 21 and never been liked. And since practically most of the people around me have experienced it/are experiencing it at one point or another, it's a bit worrying. Ah. bodoh. This whole paragraph is bodoh. Why? Because I do believe I have several repetitions of this exact same paragraph(albeit expressed differently) scattered throughout previous blog posts. Therefore, not only is it unoriginal, it means that the situation hasn't changed. next.

I want to talk about God and how the memories of umrah are becoming fuzzy, they aren't in pristine, sharp , technicolour condition anymore, and that sucks. Melbourne and its distractions are getting to me, and I want to persevere. And I want to talk about how I was reminded of the fact that 'Islam' means to surrender to God, and I'm supposed to build my life around God, not try and find ways to fit God into my life. I want to be stripped of this arrogance I have, of any cynicism, sarcasm and skepticism in my head, take them away, what good have they done me? Obliterate this pretentiousness.

I like my lecturers this semester.

I have reading and tutorials to do tomorrow.