dis⋅il⋅lu⋅sion /ˌdɪsɪˈluʒən/
–verb (used with object)
1.to free from or deprive of illusion, belief, idealism, etc.; disenchant.
Someone once apologized for disillusioning me. Now that I think about it, what a nice sentiment. Apologizing to me for bursting my idealistic bubble. Being sorry just because the truth turned out to be different from what I perceived it to be.
I have been listening to Debussy's Clair de Lune constantly, and I think how lovely it is each time I hear it. Once, as I was listening to it, it reminded me of the extent of pleasure that can be derived from listening to a piece of music, and it made me think that surely this pleasure is a divine blessing? Alhamdulillah for allowing me to be able to hear and be happy and be moved by a song.
My relationship with God is not easy. I have to work at it constantly, as with any other relationship I suppose. Sometimes, like now, I get frustrated with Allah and myself and wonder why can't I just love Him, and feel Him when I pray, and remember the afterlife. Why is it still difficult for me to accept Islam as a whole when I've been to Makkah and have been moved by seeing the Kaabah, why do I still feel my daily life and my quest for religion are detached, why is it so easy to forget my experiences during umrah and revert to my old ways. Why isn't abiding and remembering Allah as easy as falling in love with a piece of music?
But if it's easy, it isn't love I suppose.
exaggeration and tall tales galore
Thursday, July 30, 2009
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5 comments:
'like' the last line
ateqs!!!!!!!! hye! how r u??! :D
like the last line too! :)
yes,it's not easy to fall in love with ALLAH. but dun worry ateqs! at least u hv the consciousness to change. my advice is that u change slowly n gradually. U can start 1st by trying to pray on time... or other things that u see fit... do the obligatory things as istiqamah as u can... At times u'll fail to do it istiqamah-ly, but never gv up! ALWAYS, ALWAYS, have FAITH in ALLAH or at the very least, try to... U CAN DO IT ATEQS!!! CHAIYOK2!
I had been in the same shoes as u... and i noe how difficult it is... am currently trying to change too.. let's do ur best yeah?
have a nice day! think +ve! dun let -ve thoughts n others' judgments get over u! May ALLAH always bless u.. amin~ ^_^
Hehe, another post I can relate to. It's true one's relationship with God is something one has to constantly work on.
If only I could MAINTAIN my level of faith/love/loyalty for God, I would be happy. But it fluctuates. It's hard, it's frustrating, it leaves me feeling like a fool most of the time.
I guess nobody but the Prophet himself will ever have the luxury of having the sureness of His presence and nearness. The rest of us are doomed to stumble all the way till the Day of Reckoning, when God determines if you've put enough effort in stumbling =p
I always tell myself God is fair, loving and understanding. And that He judges all of us by our circumstances and standards and how hard we try. Makes me feel better about dying.
anna: 'thank you'
afnan: Ever with the encouraging words! Thank you, and yes, I'm trying to change. Let's do our best! FIGHTING!
hope you have a nice day too! :)
aki:Yes! We don't have the luxury of being being 100% sure of His presence and His nearness, exactly! And that frustrates me at times, because sometimes I wonder if I'm just groping blindly.
But I think I'm coming to this conclusion that we're meant to stumble along and that God will judge us by the amount of effort we put into stumbling as well.
it's nice to have people to talk about religion and God with.
my relatiosnhip with God is so inconsistent i feel like nak masuk JIM.
kasi tarbiyyah secara paksa sket.
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