Eh, ada masalah sebenarnya ni

At the moment, the filing drawer of my mind is in a state of disarray. Contents and are spilling out, things are not arranged according to alphabetical order, files are overstuffed or empty and not categorized correctly. On top of that, there is a layer of dust, the drawers creak and can't shut properly, traces of rust are beginning to show. Everything's a mess.

In the same way substance-abusers think alcohol or drugs make things ok, I've sort of come to grasp coffee meet-ups and sessions at the gym as an excuse to feel things are dandy and thus neglect filing-drawer tidiness. When I go to the gym, I feel productive enough and ludicrously pleased with myself such that I think it's ok I haven't done other things I should be focusing on, like finding a job. When I meet up with a friend for coffee, I'm buoyed by the hit of caffeine and the leisurely chat that accompanies these meet-ups. I am often given the luxury of a sympathetic ear and a kindness that deludes me into thinking my problems are more than just the well-trodden path of self-centered people everywhere.

Houston, we have a problem.