Alone again, naturally

with some people, you want to go "reciprocate damnit. don't leave me hanging here".

but you can't just telepathically send a message like that, can you? expecting someone to get it and to act upon it appropriately. it just doesn't work that way.

and the lamest part is when you try to convince yourself that you'll get over them and move on, only to find that you haven't done any of that and that you're still clinging on, when in fact that person has long since let go. or worse, was never actually holding on in the first place.

and so you laugh and you chuckle(because you have long since figured out that anger or sadness is wasted on such things), and you work out the funny side.

the best thing about such situations is that they motivate you to blog because they're not the kind of thing you can actually tell a friend without feeling astoundingly foolish.

the other day i walked about the city with Azrieal, and i had a bagel that has managed to etch itself in my memory as a very, very, very yummy bagel. a perfectly toasted sesame-seed bagel spread with cream cheese, topped with salmon, avocado, and some sort of veggie(rocket?).

i should put up a picture. lame dah tak letak gambar.that's azrieal. Red sweater, a hat that reminds me of Pete Doherty, camera slung around the neck, eating fries. I must give props to him for a) going on the excursion with me in the first place and b) being fully capable of leading the way. all i had to do was walk whichever way he directed, which is relief, because my sense of navigation sucks. as a result, if i ever want to go back to that shop that served the yummy bagel on my own i'd probably get lost, but no matter. i had fun.

last saturday jia yee and i attempted to go jogging. for some reason prior to the attempt, i had somehow conjured visions of myself jogging blissfully at this nice park near our appartment, with the cool chill of autumn(winter?) and songs from my ipod as my pleasant companions.

i snort.

two minutes into jogging, i remembered one vital fact that had somehow managed to escape my delightful jogging daydreams, namely, the fact that i hate jogging.

i suppose it has to do with my own lack of stamina, but yergh, i hate jogging. reminds me of those merentas desa we used to have to do back in school every year. i shudder. i'd be one of those unfortunate students yang tak sempat a few hundred meters dah pancit. hmm. pancit. what an appropriate description.

Alone Again, Naturally by Gilbert O'Sullivan has got to be one of the saddest songs. tune-wise it may not sound like it, but combined with the lyrics it's just heartfelt sadness all the way.

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top, will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to whoever
What it's like when you're shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Where people saying: "My God, that’s tough
She's stood him up"
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally.

Sleep beckons, and so i bid farewell.