I am perfectly comfortable admitting I am a social retard. You see, the thing is, most times, I don't mind. Sure it can be uncomfortable at moments, I've complained about them often enough. But I seem to have accepted it and am content with the fact that this is who I am, that I will not make friends effortlessly, that I will not be a social butterfly. I've figured out I will always be uncomfortable at parties, that I'll be the quiet girl in tutorials, the one who sits alone at lectures. I'm not happy that I don't easily connect with many people, but as corny as this may sounds, it makes me happier when I do manage to connect with someone, I like to delude myself that its worth more. I'm such a hard person to be friends with(I'm sombong, I'm quite crazy,etc), so when someone does manage to do so I am eternally grateful.
But sometimes, like when your french partner ditches you(Jonathan has gone missing), and your french teacher asks the rest of the class whether they'd want to partner with you and it remains silent, you are reminded that you are a social retard in the most painful way possible. And so you wonder.
What if I don't want to be fucking sociable?
mad? yes.
Ashamed? yes.
hungry? Yes. I'm going to go makan.
exaggeration and tall tales galore
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Jangan tengok! tutup mata!
- July 2013 (1)
- October 2012 (1)
- June 2012 (1)
- May 2012 (2)
- April 2012 (1)
- February 2012 (1)
- January 2012 (2)
- December 2011 (1)
- November 2011 (3)
- October 2011 (3)
- September 2011 (3)
- August 2011 (4)
- July 2011 (3)
- June 2011 (4)
- May 2011 (3)
- April 2011 (2)
- March 2011 (3)
- February 2011 (1)
- January 2011 (5)
- December 2010 (1)
- November 2010 (2)
- October 2010 (2)
- September 2010 (4)
- August 2010 (6)
- July 2010 (4)
- June 2010 (3)
- May 2010 (3)
- April 2010 (6)
- March 2010 (5)
- February 2010 (5)
- January 2010 (5)
- December 2009 (3)
- November 2009 (4)
- October 2009 (4)
- September 2009 (6)
- August 2009 (6)
- July 2009 (5)
- June 2009 (2)
- May 2009 (3)
- April 2009 (6)
- March 2009 (5)
- February 2009 (2)
- January 2009 (6)
- December 2008 (10)
- November 2008 (7)
- October 2008 (9)
- September 2008 (9)
- August 2008 (6)
- July 2008 (7)
- June 2008 (6)
- May 2008 (10)
- April 2008 (10)
- March 2008 (9)
- February 2008 (6)
- January 2008 (7)
- December 2007 (8)
- November 2007 (6)
- October 2007 (7)
- September 2007 (4)
- August 2007 (5)
- July 2007 (4)
- June 2007 (10)
- May 2007 (7)
- April 2007 (7)
- March 2007 (5)
- February 2007 (4)
- January 2007 (6)
- December 2006 (6)
- November 2006 (9)
8 comments:
i am a social retard too! i know how u feel ateqs... be patient k!
cheer up girl! u r strong! =)
Have an enjoyable day! ^_^
cheers~
wut i always do in such situation? i cut myself some (a lot) slack.
not helping right..
ganbatte! just focus on other things that makes you feel better.
salam..this was how i used to feel once...
maybe you are too conscious of what other people think of you..
well, just think that nobody really cares..
and hey...everyone's was gifted with different characteristics..
you are who you are...
dun be someone that you are not..
if you think you want to keep quite, that's your own choice, nobody can say anything to that,,
and even if they do have the unfavourable perception of you...SO WHAT???
they're not important to u..dun think of them..or else you'll be down all the time because you keep thinking "what he/she thinks". well the thing is, you DUNNO WHAT THEY ARE THINKING (cuz you're not a mind reader??) so stop thinking of things that you don't know of. it's frustrating, i know that..
hopefully this advice helps.. =)
afnan: I'm feeling much better now :) Thanks for taking the time to offer your sympathy, hope you have a nice day as well!
whilewhiting: I went to the library and borrowed cooking/baking books :D SO THERAPEUTIC!
Zinnirah Abrar:fair enough. thank you for taking the time to comment and offer advice :)
hey, i feel you D: terribly! i'm glad you're feeling better(?) now though :)
i don't think it's deluding yourself that it's worth more- honestly i really think it's worth more too. i'm a prickly sort of person, i say a lot of mean things and people can't really tell if i'm serious at the best of times. so i figure if someone can look past that (in addition to everything else) and still like me, we must have something worth keeping :) it is good to be grateful!
we should meet up when you're back here. see my face instead of weird and often random comments 8D' how long are you staying?
atiqah! im a social retard too!!! haha..at times, i think i look a bit cold..
internet masih tak boleh. the brits are damn slow i tell you.. been making a fuss about it, sampai skrg tak baik2 lagi..
we should skype soon! :D
much love, diyana
Diyana izzati! No way, you don't look cold, remember how I(as usual, by myself) came up to you on the second day of college? it was because you looked friendly not the type to bite my head off!
hope the people who are supposed to fix up your internet have gotten a move on. skype session a must, I'll need it to keep myself sane while getting ready for exams. if i don't go crazy first and forget to call.
I miss you cupcake!(for some reason, my terms of endearment for friends all revolve around food now)
kero! I'm sorry, I missed your comment. i'm staying for three months, woot! yes please, let's meet up. I'd like to actually meet the person who has lent a kind ear(eye?) to my woes all this while.
Post a Comment