Half-full glass

I was in a particularly foul mood the other night, for no apparent reason. The type of bad mood that makes you want to pick something up and throw it at the wall, heh. My mood saver? 'Vincent' by Don Mclean. You know how there are some songs you like so much that when you hear them, you get goosebumps? yeah, well this song does it for me, particularly at the part where he sings:

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true,
And when no hope was left in sight,
on that starry, starry night,
you took your life as lovers often do,
But i could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

Aisy. Goosebumps ah wei.

I link-surfed the other day (read someone's blog, clicked on a link on his page, read that blog, then subsequently clicked on a link from THAT page, and so on), and came across the blog of this girl, maybe a couple years younger than me. Her blog sounded interesting, and she updates regularly, so she's now more or less on my list of frequently visited blogs.

Here's the thing. Practically every post she's published is about her complaining on the latest 'injustice' she's had to suffer through. Example? having to endure long boring assemblies, strict teachers, how she's so fat, having nothing to do and dying of boredom, that sort of thing.

For God's sake.

ok, i know that your blog is your web journal, a place to pour out your problems, what you're feeling, it's YOUR right to publish anything you want on it, and as long as it doesn't hurt other people's feelings, alrighty then. And besides, who am i to judge a person whom i've never met based on just the words of their blog?

But when you read a blog that is practically entirely focused on a person complaining suffusely on her 'terrible' problems, problems that are actually not that terrible, you can't help but feel extremely irritated, wanting to shake her by the neck, and screech 'THOSE ARE NOT EVEN EFFIN' REAL PROBLEMS!!'.

I've been thinking about it lately, and i've realised(so belatedly) that i am actually an ungrateful arse. I complain(internally and externally) about stuff like being introverted, not being able to make friends, about feeling disappointed in myself, about not having confidence in my abilities or my brains,etc practically all the time.

A couple weeks ago it dawned on me( i had an epiphany of sorts, heh) that i'm just making all these problems up for myself. What problems i have, i tend to blow them out of proportion to make it seem like i'm a damsel-in-distress type, i REVEL in having something to be in despair about. On the day i realised this, i also realised how unthankful to Allah i've been for what i have. All this while i've been looking at my glass as half empty, not half full.

I have both my parents alive and with me, parents who take the time to ask me how was my day, and how's my studies, and can have a laugh with me. I'm smart, i speak english well, i have my own room, a car, i've got great friends, i was born in my faith, i look quite ok, i have all my body parts intact, i've never had to endure war, or cancer or a hurricane, i can see, i can hear, i can taste, damn it, i'm alive, and so far, my life's been pretty great.

heh, please excuse the paragraph above, i'm not trying to blow my own trumpet or anything, i'm just trying to make a point. Some people tend to forget that they have so much to be grateful for, and merely focus on what they term to be the injustices of their lives. I'm no exception. Even as i write this, i know that there will still be times when i'll get upset over something and forget to stop, take a breath, and remember that compared to what i have in my life, that something is actually trivial in comparison. There will still be days where i want to throw something at the wall, and there will still be days when i think 'this is so frickin' unfair'.

But hey. At least now part of me will remind myself that life IS fair, it's been more than fair to me, i'm just not seeing the big picture.

Our glass is actually half-full, no?