exaggeration and tall tales galore

Friday, April 22, 2011

Kupasan Kpop

Work applications have been

My cashflows

Self-esteem and notions of uselessness are

For God's sake, no. No! We shall not partake in such mundane discussions on a public holiday!

Yes, it's Good Friday here in Melbourne, so the shops are closed, the weather is chilly, and I have a tentative notion of doing nothing. Nothing.

While I think of something to type, let me entertain you with Clara C's cover of Rocketeer which is lovely, I'm a sucker for trumpet inclusions.


Things have been..... and here I falter, because I don't really know how things have been. Some inner part of me wants to sit down with you and look you in the eye and say help me, please, please. Another part of me is convinced things are ok, I am on track, and things are ok and will fall into place, I will make them fall into place. Another part of me laughs at the melodrama of it all, sometimes scornfully and with disgust at my foolishness, other times it is less unkind, and it nudges me gently and says this will be regarded with humorous wonder in just a few months from now, I will look back and think it was so amusing how out of sorts I was.

But anyway, how are you? Been occupying yourselves well? This morning I tried going for a run outside at the nearby park, I think time spent jogging solidly barely touched 5 minutes, the majority of the outing was occupied by walking and sitting down on bench reading Around the World in Eighty Days before deciding breakfast was needed.

I wonder, what music do you listen to when jogging? I've posed this question to kakak and my friend Azrieal, the former giving me an answer by saying she has a specific playlist for running without actually detailing said playlist, while the latter gave a more straightforward example of stuff by Sneaky Sound System. I tend to find dance and pop music the best motivators for jogging, something with a solid beat. Other times, I play songs that I imagine I have choreographed something to that I will perform as part of an appearance on a Korean variety show. As ridiculous as that is, it does seem to help distract from the tiredness. Don't kill the daydream of being a kpop idol, yo.

Speaking of kpop, wei! WEI! Some releases have definitely been getting the thumbs up and giddy approval, in my books anyway.

1. Big Bang's Love Song is a go. Sounded very U2. The video is one of the nicest among recent ones, I think, I'm a sucker for semi-slow motion, seemingly one-take shots.

2. Daesung's Baby Don't Cry. This isn't a single, but it's Daesung's solo song in Big Bang's Special Edition album. I was so excited to hear this, because I think at the end of the day I just want a good pop song, which this is. Plus, Daesung has an awesome voice, we all know that. I think he's been given the least amount of solo exposure within the group, but I think things may be turning, did anyone see his scenes in the Tonight video? Wah, when did he become all leading-man material and allowed hot scenes with a female counterpart?

3. Rania's Dr. Feelgood. Say what you want about their image, but I think they're fierce (even though their leather outfits are kind of fugly.I have a thing against the short shorts and boots combination). One thing that puts me off is when a group can't embody whatever concept they're trying to portray. Groups who look awkward and out of place doing cutesy aegyo and 'oppa' stuff, groups who try so hard to be sexy it just falls flat, etc. But with Rania, they totally pulled it off! The song itself is catchy, they all sound like capable singers, the choreography is spot-on, they are in sync and look all empowered. Like they could eat cute-aegyo-doing-girls for breakfast. Like they could bust into the kpop world and show how sexy's supposed to be done. Now if only I could tell the members apart.

4. Brave Girls' Do You Know. Another rookie release I'm excited about, though I was unfortunately disinterested in the follow up song, So Sexy. I like this one though, I think it's really pretty, in an old-school r&b/soul(sebenarnya aku main tibai je cakap genre ni, I could be wrong) fashion, and I'm digging the style and choreography.

Ok. Way too much kpop. Way too much for someone trying to convince strangers to hire her, anyway. Lebih baik pergi makan lunch.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

I go a bit mad at the end with all the link-inserting

In filling out application forms and writing cover letters, I feel like I am straddling a fine line between truth and bullshit. It's like, hello recruitment people, to tell the truth I would like to just say I sincerely think I have what it takes to do this job, could you please hire me? But of course it doesn't work that way, I get it, you need some filter system to detect valid candidates for the job. That's why you have all these questions asking me to describe situations where I faced a difficult task within a team environment, and what personal strengths and skills did I call upon to face it, and how can I apply what I learned from the experience within the workplace, etc.

It's all fine and dandy when you have existing, solid past events that straight-forwardly demonstrate whatever desirable quality you're looking for. But what if most of the events in your life are things that I regard as having stumbled through in a generally clumsy manner? There may have been good conclusions, e.g.: yes, we did get a good score for that assignment, but was it really the straightforward process of situation-conflict-collective actions-results? No. It was more like, situation-conflict-conflict not addressed directly-apathy-let's just get through this-submit-oh! decent score.

Do I have any recent major leadership positions from which I can expound on how I influenced subordinates and catalyzed beneficial changes to the organisation? No. Does that make me feel like I'm not worthy for the job? No. Do I still have to answer the question to submit an application? Yes. And so I end up on my hands and knees, trying to dig up some past situation, however minuscule, however pathetic, that I can wrestle and squeeze and cajole it into forming a charming description that answers the question.

Jeez louise, wei.

It's either I get side-swiped by the idea that my lack of fabulous list of extra-curricular responsibilities and activities means I'm shit.

Or I firmly kick the ass of these notions of inferiority and try my best to fill out this bloody application anyway, and truthfully at that, because goddamn, I know I can be a decent employee. A flawless list of student society leadership positions does not a good employee make! Karate chop!

But on a brighter note, I have amassed a current play list of songs that are just simply fantastic. There's Jamie Cullum's version of Don't Stop The Music, which is just freaking boss, I love it and it increases my love for Keone Madrid and Mariel Martin, because they made this amazing piece of choreography to it. Then there's Robyn's Hang With Me, which is Robyn at her best, I think, she excels at songs like these, sweet and sorrowful and earnest. I love singing along to the "and if you do me right, I'm gonna do right by you" line. Then there's Tommy Sparks' She's Got Me Dancing, which is total eighties flailing music wei, so getting-jiggy-with-it! Then I'm having a belated Killers's phase thanks to playing Tap Tap Revenge on my phone, I am currently hooked on Sweet Talk and Read My Mind. There's also there's a bit of a flashback to Joy Division, Love Will Tear Us Apart is finally being appreciated, why am I so ketinggalan zaman? And let's not forget Cold War Kids' Audience.

Let's have an omelette for lunch, shall we? Yes, let's.