exaggeration and tall tales galore

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

I go a bit mad at the end with all the link-inserting

In filling out application forms and writing cover letters, I feel like I am straddling a fine line between truth and bullshit. It's like, hello recruitment people, to tell the truth I would like to just say I sincerely think I have what it takes to do this job, could you please hire me? But of course it doesn't work that way, I get it, you need some filter system to detect valid candidates for the job. That's why you have all these questions asking me to describe situations where I faced a difficult task within a team environment, and what personal strengths and skills did I call upon to face it, and how can I apply what I learned from the experience within the workplace, etc.

It's all fine and dandy when you have existing, solid past events that straight-forwardly demonstrate whatever desirable quality you're looking for. But what if most of the events in your life are things that I regard as having stumbled through in a generally clumsy manner? There may have been good conclusions, e.g.: yes, we did get a good score for that assignment, but was it really the straightforward process of situation-conflict-collective actions-results? No. It was more like, situation-conflict-conflict not addressed directly-apathy-let's just get through this-submit-oh! decent score.

Do I have any recent major leadership positions from which I can expound on how I influenced subordinates and catalyzed beneficial changes to the organisation? No. Does that make me feel like I'm not worthy for the job? No. Do I still have to answer the question to submit an application? Yes. And so I end up on my hands and knees, trying to dig up some past situation, however minuscule, however pathetic, that I can wrestle and squeeze and cajole it into forming a charming description that answers the question.

Jeez louise, wei.

It's either I get side-swiped by the idea that my lack of fabulous list of extra-curricular responsibilities and activities means I'm shit.

Or I firmly kick the ass of these notions of inferiority and try my best to fill out this bloody application anyway, and truthfully at that, because goddamn, I know I can be a decent employee. A flawless list of student society leadership positions does not a good employee make! Karate chop!

But on a brighter note, I have amassed a current play list of songs that are just simply fantastic. There's Jamie Cullum's version of Don't Stop The Music, which is just freaking boss, I love it and it increases my love for Keone Madrid and Mariel Martin, because they made this amazing piece of choreography to it. Then there's Robyn's Hang With Me, which is Robyn at her best, I think, she excels at songs like these, sweet and sorrowful and earnest. I love singing along to the "and if you do me right, I'm gonna do right by you" line. Then there's Tommy Sparks' She's Got Me Dancing, which is total eighties flailing music wei, so getting-jiggy-with-it! Then I'm having a belated Killers's phase thanks to playing Tap Tap Revenge on my phone, I am currently hooked on Sweet Talk and Read My Mind. There's also there's a bit of a flashback to Joy Division, Love Will Tear Us Apart is finally being appreciated, why am I so ketinggalan zaman? And let's not forget Cold War Kids' Audience.

Let's have an omelette for lunch, shall we? Yes, let's.

3 comments:

Only Kye said...

Haha. I feel your pain friend. I went through phd applications and felt like world's biggest BSer-- even I didn't believe myself.

I remember this Simpsons episode where Lisa was typing up Marge's resume for her and Marge goes through it, a bit confused, and asks "Curator of large mammals?"

The camera wipes to Homer in his underwear and scratching himself asking, "Marge, where's the remote"

And Lisa replies drily, "They expect you to lie a little bit"

I dunno how relevant that is, but it's funnnneeehh.

Lisa Sulaiman said...

Let's just say... I can relate.

Atiqah said...

kye, hahahaha, I think I remember seeing that episode! It WAS funny. Still is.

Lisa, thank you for being able to relate! I have another questionnaire to wrestle down after this, sigh.