when i was younger, i used to find it embarassing to admitt to my sister that i liked hilary duff's 'so yesterday'.
Some people who are into rock scorn people who listen to pop(no kakak, not you :p). Some people admonish others who go crazy over top 40 hits and think its better to listen to unmainstream music. well, that's all bollocks, i think. it's almost inevitable to like pop, simply because pop it's an abso-freakin-lutely humongous genre. And what should it matter whether a song is mainstream or unmainstream?
But wait, let's evaluate here. There IS a good reason why some people would scorn pop. There was this one time in GP class, we were discussing music, and my teacher was mentioning how some portions of pop music can often be a bit too simple, and quite empty-headed in terms or lyrics. I agree. I recently heard the new song by Vanessa Hudgens, which had lyrics like these:
When you call I don't know if I should pick up the phone every time,
I'm not like all my friends who keep calling up the boys, I'm so shy
BWAHAHAHA, who makes up this stuff? it's bad, and i bet they used it only because they couldn't find any better line to rhyme with the first one. And of course, you have Paris Hilton, whose music is mostly made up of synthesised studio alterations built around her, ahem, voice. Yeah, well.
You know who i think is a perfectly adequate example of quality pop? Mariah Carey(or is she r&b, i don't know). I personally think the 'Emancipation of Mimi' album should have won more Grammys. Oh, have you listened to the song 'Breakdown' from her old album? That song alone accounts for why i have her listed under my most played artists list.
One of my pet peeves concerning songs is when people who don't actually have a good voice sing songs that i like. Prime contoh? cassie(ala, yang nyanyi lagu 'me and you' tu). I don't like that me and you song, but i do dig 'long way to go'. It's catchy, nice beat. could do with better lyrics, though. anyways, the song is ok, but she can't sing! She keeps in tune, yes, but her voice is so weak, i don't understand. is she sengaje tak nak show off her vocal capabilites or is it that she really can't sing powerfully? Why did they sign her up in the first place? Sebab die lawa, is it? Bleargh.
I have more respect for people who write their own songs, but then again, if we only depend on artists to write their own songs, who will sing the nice songs songwriters who can't sing come up with,ey? yeah.
Oh, and about the whole mainstream thing, i think there is a certain appeal to listening to unmainstream music. for one thing, there's a whole bunch of superb songs out there that you probably won't find on the radio and have to look for yourself, so when you find one, it's extra nice, a personal treasure. And it's twice as fun when you find another person who knows the song too. Mainstream music can get annoying when a song you like becomes a song everyone adores and becomes the most overplayed song on the radio until whenever you hear it, you run away screaming. yeah. but really, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter, does it. if you like it, then listen to it. habis cerite.
I was, and probably still am, a bit of a teeny-bopper. After the disaster that was Beyonce's 'Dangerously in Love', my teeny-bopperism fell a bit, i guess. but still. you'll catch me crooning along to Jojo whenever it comes on the radio. But please, don't confuse me with someone who will sing along with Akon and ask people to smack that or do tai bo or whatever. I despise that song. or any song by Akon, for that matter. but that's just my opinion.
oh,oh! and what about the whole malaysian music versus indonesian music thingie? hot fm was criticized once for playing too much music from indonesian artists rather than malaysian ones. hmm. well, all i can say is, indonesian bands have better videos. i'm not a fan of the drippy malay band songs with the singer singing in the really, REALLY whiny voice moaning about lost love and the video always shows them kat tgh2 padang or tempat berpasir and all the other members look like their playing their instruments semi-comatose or what. How come local music videos(save for a handful) usually have dreadful quality that makes it look so tacky? is it that we can't afford it or what?
Yeah,well. whatever. just listen to whatever you want to, ok? don't be intimidated by other peoples' musical preferences, and don't let other peoples' opinion of what constitutes 'good music' deter you from liking any song whatsoever. i'm saying this as a reminder to myself too, go figure.
well anyhoo, i am currently crazy over this song. the yeah yeah yeahs are cool. a bit weird.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Doi-headedness
If you're a doi-head like me, you're bound to do some really, really, REALLY stupid stuff now and then.
My recent doi-head moment happened yesterday when I was SUPPOSED to be in genting. tak jadilah. aisy. no matter. my cousin syefik came over! so that was fun. syefik, you'll laugh when you read this one.
My dad uses a laptop, which has a slot where you can directly insert your SD card or multimedia card. I usually use it for my handphone's multimedia card, to transfer songs or whatnot.
well, to cut a long story short, yesterday, i went and put my sony cybershot's memory stick into the slot. Ironically, that very same afternoon syefik had asked me if a memory stick could fit into it, and i had answered no. but for some reason, i forgot all this, and, thinking that the memory stick was the same size, went and slot the memory stick into the SD card slot.
Exhibit A: The SD/multimedia card slot
Exhibit B: Comparison between an SD card and a sony memory stick.
So i went and slot in the memory stick. and it went right in. the whole thing. If it's an SD/multimedia card, it would partially stick out when you push it in, but not this one. uh-uh. the whole thing slid in, and it stayed in.
So i thought, 'oh,crap', and i started poking at it to get it out. which, of course, inevitably ended up with it sliding in even further. and after that, it got stuck. wouldn't budge.
Panic hadn't set it yet, so i tried jiggling it even more. Then, with rising apprehension, i took a pen from the jar on my dad's study table and tried to pry it out.
10 minutes later, with all efforts futile, mild panic finally came around and i resorted to lifting the laptop with the slot faced downwards and started shaking it with hope that inertia would lend me a hand and make the darn thing fall out.
Nope. no can do. Freaking-out was just around the corner, but i maintained a sort of silent(albeit a bit hysterical) composure, and starting to cabut all the wires and cables out of the laptop. subsequently, i proceeded to stand up, lift the lap-top, and did my next course of action, which was to shake the thing even harder. Maybe inertia was asleep and needed a bit of a wake-up call.
Ok, the thing still wouldn't budge. setting the laptop back down on the table, i was silently cursing the sony corporation under my breath, cursing them for making different sized memory sticks instead of the standard size all the other companies make. I concluded it was all part of their evil marketing conspiracy to make sure people had to buy other sony equipment to accomodate the stupid sony memory-sticks. In short, it was part of their plan to dominate the world.
My mind flashed forward to the near future, when dad would come home from work and i'd have to tell him that the daughter he had invested his money in to do A-levels in Sunway with hopes of following the footsteps of his eldest daughter went and slide a memory stick into his laptop and got it stuck there. AAH! somehow, that image got me panicking even further, and i started trying to get the thing out frantically. It was sorta like having to dismantle a bomb, and finding out that the clock, which was set to [5:00], meant 5 minutes, instead of the 5 hours you initially thought(a classic mistake only a doi-headed person would make,btw). You get frantic.
I was even examining the laptop to see where the screws were in case i could unscrew it, remove the outer shell, and get the memory stick out(when you get frantic, your inner McGuyver wannabe personality comes to surface).
In the end, it came down to this.
Exhibit C: The tools
A nail-clipper, a letter-opener, and a stationery blade. uh-huh.
Ceh, macam ape je. Nolah, i used mainly the nail-clipper and the letter-opener. I went and insert the letter-opener's tip into the slot so it was pressing on the memory-stick, and i used the nail-clipper handle and pushed it in so that it was UNDER the memory-stick. Then i kepitkan the two things as hard as i could and used it to pull the memory-stick back out.
Amazingly enough, it worked. i'm a bit in shock myself. common sense doesn't occur to me often, so when i do something and it actually works, it's quite a surprise. I call the technique i used the 'chopstick manouvre'.(indulge me by layan-ing my petty McGuyver/spy-work fantasies, ok?)
Well, thank God it did. I tested my memory stick as well as the slot again with a proper-sized card, and both worked fine. Nasib baik.
So kawan2, the moral of the story is, don't by sony digicams.
Nah,just kidding. the moral is, don't main sumbat je a memory-stick into a mysterious slot in your laptop. or, better yet, boleh sumbat, just make sure you've mastered the choptstick manouvre.
My recent doi-head moment happened yesterday when I was SUPPOSED to be in genting. tak jadilah. aisy. no matter. my cousin syefik came over! so that was fun. syefik, you'll laugh when you read this one.
My dad uses a laptop, which has a slot where you can directly insert your SD card or multimedia card. I usually use it for my handphone's multimedia card, to transfer songs or whatnot.
well, to cut a long story short, yesterday, i went and put my sony cybershot's memory stick into the slot. Ironically, that very same afternoon syefik had asked me if a memory stick could fit into it, and i had answered no. but for some reason, i forgot all this, and, thinking that the memory stick was the same size, went and slot the memory stick into the SD card slot.
Exhibit A: The SD/multimedia card slot
Exhibit B: Comparison between an SD card and a sony memory stick.
So i went and slot in the memory stick. and it went right in. the whole thing. If it's an SD/multimedia card, it would partially stick out when you push it in, but not this one. uh-uh. the whole thing slid in, and it stayed in.
So i thought, 'oh,crap', and i started poking at it to get it out. which, of course, inevitably ended up with it sliding in even further. and after that, it got stuck. wouldn't budge.
Panic hadn't set it yet, so i tried jiggling it even more. Then, with rising apprehension, i took a pen from the jar on my dad's study table and tried to pry it out.
10 minutes later, with all efforts futile, mild panic finally came around and i resorted to lifting the laptop with the slot faced downwards and started shaking it with hope that inertia would lend me a hand and make the darn thing fall out.
Nope. no can do. Freaking-out was just around the corner, but i maintained a sort of silent(albeit a bit hysterical) composure, and starting to cabut all the wires and cables out of the laptop. subsequently, i proceeded to stand up, lift the lap-top, and did my next course of action, which was to shake the thing even harder. Maybe inertia was asleep and needed a bit of a wake-up call.
Ok, the thing still wouldn't budge. setting the laptop back down on the table, i was silently cursing the sony corporation under my breath, cursing them for making different sized memory sticks instead of the standard size all the other companies make. I concluded it was all part of their evil marketing conspiracy to make sure people had to buy other sony equipment to accomodate the stupid sony memory-sticks. In short, it was part of their plan to dominate the world.
My mind flashed forward to the near future, when dad would come home from work and i'd have to tell him that the daughter he had invested his money in to do A-levels in Sunway with hopes of following the footsteps of his eldest daughter went and slide a memory stick into his laptop and got it stuck there. AAH! somehow, that image got me panicking even further, and i started trying to get the thing out frantically. It was sorta like having to dismantle a bomb, and finding out that the clock, which was set to [5:00], meant 5 minutes, instead of the 5 hours you initially thought(a classic mistake only a doi-headed person would make,btw). You get frantic.
I was even examining the laptop to see where the screws were in case i could unscrew it, remove the outer shell, and get the memory stick out(when you get frantic, your inner McGuyver wannabe personality comes to surface).
In the end, it came down to this.
Exhibit C: The tools
A nail-clipper, a letter-opener, and a stationery blade. uh-huh.
Ceh, macam ape je. Nolah, i used mainly the nail-clipper and the letter-opener. I went and insert the letter-opener's tip into the slot so it was pressing on the memory-stick, and i used the nail-clipper handle and pushed it in so that it was UNDER the memory-stick. Then i kepitkan the two things as hard as i could and used it to pull the memory-stick back out.
Amazingly enough, it worked. i'm a bit in shock myself. common sense doesn't occur to me often, so when i do something and it actually works, it's quite a surprise. I call the technique i used the 'chopstick manouvre'.(indulge me by layan-ing my petty McGuyver/spy-work fantasies, ok?)
Well, thank God it did. I tested my memory stick as well as the slot again with a proper-sized card, and both worked fine. Nasib baik.
So kawan2, the moral of the story is, don't by sony digicams.
Nah,just kidding. the moral is, don't main sumbat je a memory-stick into a mysterious slot in your laptop. or, better yet, boleh sumbat, just make sure you've mastered the choptstick manouvre.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
tri-coloured
don't you hate it when people give one word text messages?
it sounds so curt. you type this nice moderately long msg, with quips or small jokes inserted, and you're chuckling with delight by your own cleverness at typing a good message. skali tgk when the person replies, it just says 'nope', or just the word 'ok'. aiie! you feel so cut up short.
yeah well. some people would argue buat ape nak bazirkan tenaga type banyak2 when one word would suffice?pfft. well buat ape nak waste a 10 cent message with one word when you could get your value for money and type 10 or even more,huh?HUH? ah well. needless to say, i still don't like one-word messages. give at least 5 words la. make that 7. or ten.
This morning i woke up late, as i usually do when there's no class. my brother was banging on the door and handed me the phone when i opened. well,it wasn't a call for me, it was this guy from an elecrical company asking for my dad. apparently my dad won something(he was supposedly chosen 'randomly' to win) and has to go pick it up in shah alam.
this company's called a couple times before already. my dad thinks its some bogus scam thingie so he doesn't want to go pick it up. the last time they called(which i answered), they said the deadline for him to go pick his prize up was a couple weeks ago. skali tgk dieorg call lagi.peh.
so i answer the phone, still groggy from sleep, and the guy on the phone asks if i could salin an address and calling number to pass to dad when he gets back(he went to johor today). i didn't realise yet that these people were the same ones as dulu, so i asked him to hold while i grabbed some paper and a pen.
i was looking for a pen, phone crooked against my ear and shoulder, when i heard him talking to his colleague. 'ni anak die, nak suruh dile salin alamat. baru bangun tido!' *chuckle,chuckle*. ppft.
so i curtly asked for the address, and he starts reading it to me. skali i realised it was the same people so i told him that dad doesn't want the gift.
'la,kenape die tak nak?ni barang die kat sini.'
'saye tak tahu, dah die tak nak ambik, kenape nak paksa pulak?'
'tak,sebab ni barang die, suruhla die datang sini bawak ic dengan nombor rujukan untuk claim.'
'yelah, nanti saya ckp dgn die'.
'ok,itujelah. skarang adik pegi mandi tau.'
'HAHAHAHA,kelakarnye!bye.'
that kind of humour or know-it-allness rubs bad against you when you haven't had breakfast yet.
it's a nice day. all blue skies with fluffy white clouds. and yesterday, i had the delight of seeing this.
orange and purple and blue!
it sounds so curt. you type this nice moderately long msg, with quips or small jokes inserted, and you're chuckling with delight by your own cleverness at typing a good message. skali tgk when the person replies, it just says 'nope', or just the word 'ok'. aiie! you feel so cut up short.
yeah well. some people would argue buat ape nak bazirkan tenaga type banyak2 when one word would suffice?pfft. well buat ape nak waste a 10 cent message with one word when you could get your value for money and type 10 or even more,huh?HUH? ah well. needless to say, i still don't like one-word messages. give at least 5 words la. make that 7. or ten.
This morning i woke up late, as i usually do when there's no class. my brother was banging on the door and handed me the phone when i opened. well,it wasn't a call for me, it was this guy from an elecrical company asking for my dad. apparently my dad won something(he was supposedly chosen 'randomly' to win) and has to go pick it up in shah alam.
this company's called a couple times before already. my dad thinks its some bogus scam thingie so he doesn't want to go pick it up. the last time they called(which i answered), they said the deadline for him to go pick his prize up was a couple weeks ago. skali tgk dieorg call lagi.peh.
so i answer the phone, still groggy from sleep, and the guy on the phone asks if i could salin an address and calling number to pass to dad when he gets back(he went to johor today). i didn't realise yet that these people were the same ones as dulu, so i asked him to hold while i grabbed some paper and a pen.
i was looking for a pen, phone crooked against my ear and shoulder, when i heard him talking to his colleague. 'ni anak die, nak suruh dile salin alamat. baru bangun tido!' *chuckle,chuckle*. ppft.
so i curtly asked for the address, and he starts reading it to me. skali i realised it was the same people so i told him that dad doesn't want the gift.
'la,kenape die tak nak?ni barang die kat sini.'
'saye tak tahu, dah die tak nak ambik, kenape nak paksa pulak?'
'tak,sebab ni barang die, suruhla die datang sini bawak ic dengan nombor rujukan untuk claim.'
'yelah, nanti saya ckp dgn die'.
'ok,itujelah. skarang adik pegi mandi tau.'
'HAHAHAHA,kelakarnye!bye.'
that kind of humour or know-it-allness rubs bad against you when you haven't had breakfast yet.
it's a nice day. all blue skies with fluffy white clouds. and yesterday, i had the delight of seeing this.
orange and purple and blue!
Thursday, April 19, 2007
ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough
my bad for becoming the emotional ranting chick in the last post, sorry. oh well. a sudden lapse of cool calm intellect(not that i have any even when i'm not ranting around)could happen to anyone, or so i'd like to think.
thanx to those who gave words of encouragement. highly appreciated.
my mocks end tomorrow and therefore am in a highly pre-celebratory mood :p i'll have a week and a half of holiday starting tomorrow! not that long, but a week without accounting and econs would be nice. nani, want to catch a movie?
so you've probably heard about the virginia tech shootings. damn. i was thinking it couldn't get any worse after columbine, but i guess not. and it's sad the way some screwed up people are getting mad and skewed against asians just because the shooter was south korean. just read some of the comments at youtube and you'll see what i mean.
what's going to happen to the world now?
oh,for fellow muslimins, you should really check out this series of videos by the user 'ummahfilms' on youtube. check it out!really good stuff. even though the guy who's in the video is a muslim convert from the states, the things and situations he talks about just click with muslims here too. and he presents it in way that isn't intimidating or over my head. i came across it the other day, ntah camne it was linked on the homepage. it was good timing, i must say. very good :) my favourite is the one about ramadhan and also the one about distractions in solat. watch the one where he talks about how he converted too.
My friends are planning to go to genting this monday, so if nothing gets in the way, i'll go too. one of the extra perks of being in semashur is getting to go genting if your're in form 3 or form 5. for those yang tak tahu, genting highland was right smack in front view of our school. every morning during assembly you'd see the awana hotel or whatever it's called right at the top. yeah,man :p
i asked jia yee if she would go on the space shot, and she emphatically shook her head,heh. isn't it awful how when you go on that thing, it slowly brings you to the top, then it stops for a while and in that complete silence you're freaking out with the suspense of waiting for the darn thing to drop? and then there's a 'whoosh' and then it PLUNGES down and you want to go'AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!' only wait, you can't exactly scream, because your stomach and its contents have all gone up in your mouth, and you're slightly aware that your butt isn't touching the seat and you have that swooning feeling in the pit of your stomach like when you go down a hill fast, but here it's a 100 times worse. then the thing bounces and you're heading back up, your stomach is back in the right place, your throat is unclogged so you can start screaming, but then it goes back down again, and even though it's not as bad as the first time, it's still pretty horrible. and your stomach misplaces itself again, so your scream gets cut off. 'AAAA-'.
heh. should have just stuck to the gondola thingie with the plastic gondolier in the indoor theme park,eh?once you go on the space shot, the roller-coaster in times square seems so...tame. ahah, don't you think so?
anyway, cheers to a happy time, for you as well as me. let's think sunny thoughts.
you know how since high school musical's been out practically every school wants to emulate it and bring out their inner vanessa hudgens and zacharias smith ke ape tah name die? yeah. i was just thinking, if our college ever does a musical, and for some mystical reason i was starring(the inner workings of the brain conjures up scary mental images), i'd want the climax of the musical to be this song:
i'll be tammi to your marvin gaye! :P (don't snicker)
thanx to those who gave words of encouragement. highly appreciated.
my mocks end tomorrow and therefore am in a highly pre-celebratory mood :p i'll have a week and a half of holiday starting tomorrow! not that long, but a week without accounting and econs would be nice. nani, want to catch a movie?
so you've probably heard about the virginia tech shootings. damn. i was thinking it couldn't get any worse after columbine, but i guess not. and it's sad the way some screwed up people are getting mad and skewed against asians just because the shooter was south korean. just read some of the comments at youtube and you'll see what i mean.
what's going to happen to the world now?
oh,for fellow muslimins, you should really check out this series of videos by the user 'ummahfilms' on youtube. check it out!really good stuff. even though the guy who's in the video is a muslim convert from the states, the things and situations he talks about just click with muslims here too. and he presents it in way that isn't intimidating or over my head. i came across it the other day, ntah camne it was linked on the homepage. it was good timing, i must say. very good :) my favourite is the one about ramadhan and also the one about distractions in solat. watch the one where he talks about how he converted too.
My friends are planning to go to genting this monday, so if nothing gets in the way, i'll go too. one of the extra perks of being in semashur is getting to go genting if your're in form 3 or form 5. for those yang tak tahu, genting highland was right smack in front view of our school. every morning during assembly you'd see the awana hotel or whatever it's called right at the top. yeah,man :p
i asked jia yee if she would go on the space shot, and she emphatically shook her head,heh. isn't it awful how when you go on that thing, it slowly brings you to the top, then it stops for a while and in that complete silence you're freaking out with the suspense of waiting for the darn thing to drop? and then there's a 'whoosh' and then it PLUNGES down and you want to go'AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!' only wait, you can't exactly scream, because your stomach and its contents have all gone up in your mouth, and you're slightly aware that your butt isn't touching the seat and you have that swooning feeling in the pit of your stomach like when you go down a hill fast, but here it's a 100 times worse. then the thing bounces and you're heading back up, your stomach is back in the right place, your throat is unclogged so you can start screaming, but then it goes back down again, and even though it's not as bad as the first time, it's still pretty horrible. and your stomach misplaces itself again, so your scream gets cut off. 'AAAA-'.
heh. should have just stuck to the gondola thingie with the plastic gondolier in the indoor theme park,eh?once you go on the space shot, the roller-coaster in times square seems so...tame. ahah, don't you think so?
anyway, cheers to a happy time, for you as well as me. let's think sunny thoughts.
you know how since high school musical's been out practically every school wants to emulate it and bring out their inner vanessa hudgens and zacharias smith ke ape tah name die? yeah. i was just thinking, if our college ever does a musical, and for some mystical reason i was starring(the inner workings of the brain conjures up scary mental images), i'd want the climax of the musical to be this song:
i'll be tammi to your marvin gaye! :P (don't snicker)
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Go ahead. be all awkward
we do a lot of things to impress other people. well, i do.
Both consciously and sub-conciously, i think we channell a lot of energy, emotions, thinking, and feelings towards what other people think.
Honestly?
1. i have acted a certain way to blend with others.
2. i have questioned my beliefs and my faith.
3. i get worried when there are no comments for a post.
4.i feel stupid when i extend a hand of friendship and it seems like the opposite end isn't responding.
5.i do not like it when the neighbours dogs bark a lot and wake me up from sleep.
some of you, when u read this, might think 'tah papenye', or 'i can't believe she thinks about stuff like this', or 'sume nak complain'. well i'm tired of tempering my posts accordingly to make sure i don't sound too selfish or self-centred.
6.i wrote an email to a guy i barely knew. i read his blog, and for some reason, i got up the nerve to email him. i, being the overmaginative creature that i am, had these fantasies that we'd end up as friends, that i would be able to talk to him.
well, he emailed a reply once, and that was it. so that's fantasy's down the drain. it's no one's fault. i was too over-expectant. got carried away with bloody fantasies and daydreams again. i should have realised it wouldn't work out. they never do. they never ever EVER do. i'm just too stupid to realise that.
7. i have too many imaginary conversations.
8.i still have this feeling that i don't know who i am. who the hell am i? what exactly are my opinions, what do i think of, am i the type who would swear in her blog or do i not do it so as not to offend/shock other people?
i don't know.
If you've read up to this point, maybe by now you think i'm pathetic. looking for sympathy.
well damn u.
9.i don't want to post about things that are cheerfully optimistic or have lots of smiley faces and exclamation marks in them at the moment.
10.i'm sick of fair-weather friends. where are you when i need you?
is this too much?
i'm putting this dowm to exam stress(if there is such a thing) an unstable hormones. maybe by tomorrow this will all be a bad dream.
maybe by tomorrow i'll wake up and this will all be gone.
Both consciously and sub-conciously, i think we channell a lot of energy, emotions, thinking, and feelings towards what other people think.
Honestly?
1. i have acted a certain way to blend with others.
2. i have questioned my beliefs and my faith.
3. i get worried when there are no comments for a post.
4.i feel stupid when i extend a hand of friendship and it seems like the opposite end isn't responding.
5.i do not like it when the neighbours dogs bark a lot and wake me up from sleep.
some of you, when u read this, might think 'tah papenye', or 'i can't believe she thinks about stuff like this', or 'sume nak complain'. well i'm tired of tempering my posts accordingly to make sure i don't sound too selfish or self-centred.
6.i wrote an email to a guy i barely knew. i read his blog, and for some reason, i got up the nerve to email him. i, being the overmaginative creature that i am, had these fantasies that we'd end up as friends, that i would be able to talk to him.
well, he emailed a reply once, and that was it. so that's fantasy's down the drain. it's no one's fault. i was too over-expectant. got carried away with bloody fantasies and daydreams again. i should have realised it wouldn't work out. they never do. they never ever EVER do. i'm just too stupid to realise that.
7. i have too many imaginary conversations.
8.i still have this feeling that i don't know who i am. who the hell am i? what exactly are my opinions, what do i think of, am i the type who would swear in her blog or do i not do it so as not to offend/shock other people?
i don't know.
If you've read up to this point, maybe by now you think i'm pathetic. looking for sympathy.
well damn u.
9.i don't want to post about things that are cheerfully optimistic or have lots of smiley faces and exclamation marks in them at the moment.
10.i'm sick of fair-weather friends. where are you when i need you?
is this too much?
i'm putting this dowm to exam stress(if there is such a thing) an unstable hormones. maybe by tomorrow this will all be a bad dream.
maybe by tomorrow i'll wake up and this will all be gone.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Random
Random thought. A large portion of the students studying in the UK are taking pics of the Eye of London, while all the local students here are taking pics of the Eye on Malaysia. and now students in Singapore are going to be able to do the same. pendek kate, it's going to be a trend. everyone wants a giant ferris wheel.
Random activity. If you guys have nothing to do, go look up your old copy of Harry Potter and the Philosophers' Stone. Flip to the page where Harry first comes across the mirror of Erised. Read the phrase that was inscripted on the mirror(the itallic text that sounds like some kind of elfish magical language). Read it backwards. You'll have to piece a few letters differently(i don't mean switch it around, just attach the letters together a bit differently), but you should be able to read it. Die-hard harry potter fans would know about this i guess, but i didn't sampaila a week ago.
Random songs. this time, it's not just a suggestion, it's an order. Evryone MUST listen to THE KINKS!!!Particularly the song 'You Really Got Me'. I'd never even heard of them before, sampaila hari tu. It was tickling to find out the song was realeased in the sixties. Oh, and on a less enthusiastic but still encouraging note, try listening to Rivermaya's 'Balisong'. Everything about the song is mushy, from the lyrics to the tune to the singers' voice, but still. it's nice to chill out to.
Random thought number 2. Really should head for the books now.
Random activity. If you guys have nothing to do, go look up your old copy of Harry Potter and the Philosophers' Stone. Flip to the page where Harry first comes across the mirror of Erised. Read the phrase that was inscripted on the mirror(the itallic text that sounds like some kind of elfish magical language). Read it backwards. You'll have to piece a few letters differently(i don't mean switch it around, just attach the letters together a bit differently), but you should be able to read it. Die-hard harry potter fans would know about this i guess, but i didn't sampaila a week ago.
Random songs. this time, it's not just a suggestion, it's an order. Evryone MUST listen to THE KINKS!!!Particularly the song 'You Really Got Me'. I'd never even heard of them before, sampaila hari tu. It was tickling to find out the song was realeased in the sixties. Oh, and on a less enthusiastic but still encouraging note, try listening to Rivermaya's 'Balisong'. Everything about the song is mushy, from the lyrics to the tune to the singers' voice, but still. it's nice to chill out to.
Random thought number 2. Really should head for the books now.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Senang hati
i feel a bit tired.
either that, or i'm exaggerating so as not to feel guilty about diverting time that could have been spent studying towards blogging instead.
i went to badminton club practice on monday night with shao and tai. it was in the multi-purpose hall at college. anyway, usually the hall is reserved for the badminton club for practices, but on that day the students from monash were also using it to practice for their cultural night. there were quite a number of people, most of them seated on the stands on the upper half of the hall. so we played on as usual, using three courts.
When we started playing, i realised i was feeling nervous. i was playing on the third court, smack centre in the hall. i remembered how it was back at school. i'd never dare to play in front of a crowd, especially a crowd with guys, because they wouldn't hesitate to scrutinize your mistakes and laugh when you played wrong. i remember playing tennis at the courts and a couple of guys were clearly annoyed/amused and considered me as wasting precious court space because i wasn't terrer and couldn't hit properly. that ended up with me flushing with embarassment and giving up the court to go to the practice wall instead.
that monday night was a hallmark for me because i realized it was the first time since school finished that i wasn't nervous or pressured or bajet control just because a lot of people were there and could see if i made mistakes.
it was the first time i realized that finally, i didn't give a damn at that moment about other people and what they might think of me. main je la. kalau u miss a hit, just pick the shuttle up and play on. and i stopped being so self-concious. no one was watching anyway, they were rehearsing. and even if they watched, so what? macamla they've never slipped up in public before themselves. AND, even if they DID catch me slip up and commented on how i played with mean remarks, seriously, who gives a sh**?
all feelings of apprehension just vanished when i realized that. and badminton practice became a helluva lot more fun.
i know i've been bashing semashur life a lot, and i'm sorry about that. i'm not saying that semashur didn't teach me anything, because it sure did. it taught me tons of stuff.
but as days pass on i am beginning to fall in love more and more with life OUTSIDE semashur. it's like i'm learning confidence(screw all those motivation camps and ceramah that told us to be berkeyakinan diri) all over again.
yelah, life isn't peachy. there are still bad mood days. i still complain about stuff, (mostly just self-centred thingies). there are still days where i put '3 libras' on and curse a lot. i'm nowhere near the person i'd like to be. but in general, secare kesuluruhannye, i think i'm actually HAPPY. happy in a way i haven't been before.
at least, i think i am. Alhamdulillah. i'll take what i can get.
either that, or i'm exaggerating so as not to feel guilty about diverting time that could have been spent studying towards blogging instead.
i went to badminton club practice on monday night with shao and tai. it was in the multi-purpose hall at college. anyway, usually the hall is reserved for the badminton club for practices, but on that day the students from monash were also using it to practice for their cultural night. there were quite a number of people, most of them seated on the stands on the upper half of the hall. so we played on as usual, using three courts.
When we started playing, i realised i was feeling nervous. i was playing on the third court, smack centre in the hall. i remembered how it was back at school. i'd never dare to play in front of a crowd, especially a crowd with guys, because they wouldn't hesitate to scrutinize your mistakes and laugh when you played wrong. i remember playing tennis at the courts and a couple of guys were clearly annoyed/amused and considered me as wasting precious court space because i wasn't terrer and couldn't hit properly. that ended up with me flushing with embarassment and giving up the court to go to the practice wall instead.
that monday night was a hallmark for me because i realized it was the first time since school finished that i wasn't nervous or pressured or bajet control just because a lot of people were there and could see if i made mistakes.
it was the first time i realized that finally, i didn't give a damn at that moment about other people and what they might think of me. main je la. kalau u miss a hit, just pick the shuttle up and play on. and i stopped being so self-concious. no one was watching anyway, they were rehearsing. and even if they watched, so what? macamla they've never slipped up in public before themselves. AND, even if they DID catch me slip up and commented on how i played with mean remarks, seriously, who gives a sh**?
all feelings of apprehension just vanished when i realized that. and badminton practice became a helluva lot more fun.
i know i've been bashing semashur life a lot, and i'm sorry about that. i'm not saying that semashur didn't teach me anything, because it sure did. it taught me tons of stuff.
but as days pass on i am beginning to fall in love more and more with life OUTSIDE semashur. it's like i'm learning confidence(screw all those motivation camps and ceramah that told us to be berkeyakinan diri) all over again.
yelah, life isn't peachy. there are still bad mood days. i still complain about stuff, (mostly just self-centred thingies). there are still days where i put '3 libras' on and curse a lot. i'm nowhere near the person i'd like to be. but in general, secare kesuluruhannye, i think i'm actually HAPPY. happy in a way i haven't been before.
at least, i think i am. Alhamdulillah. i'll take what i can get.
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