we do a lot of things to impress other people. well, i do.
Both consciously and sub-conciously, i think we channell a lot of energy, emotions, thinking, and feelings towards what other people think.
Honestly?
1. i have acted a certain way to blend with others.
2. i have questioned my beliefs and my faith.
3. i get worried when there are no comments for a post.
4.i feel stupid when i extend a hand of friendship and it seems like the opposite end isn't responding.
5.i do not like it when the neighbours dogs bark a lot and wake me up from sleep.
some of you, when u read this, might think 'tah papenye', or 'i can't believe she thinks about stuff like this', or 'sume nak complain'. well i'm tired of tempering my posts accordingly to make sure i don't sound too selfish or self-centred.
6.i wrote an email to a guy i barely knew. i read his blog, and for some reason, i got up the nerve to email him. i, being the overmaginative creature that i am, had these fantasies that we'd end up as friends, that i would be able to talk to him.
well, he emailed a reply once, and that was it. so that's fantasy's down the drain. it's no one's fault. i was too over-expectant. got carried away with bloody fantasies and daydreams again. i should have realised it wouldn't work out. they never do. they never ever EVER do. i'm just too stupid to realise that.
7. i have too many imaginary conversations.
8.i still have this feeling that i don't know who i am. who the hell am i? what exactly are my opinions, what do i think of, am i the type who would swear in her blog or do i not do it so as not to offend/shock other people?
i don't know.
If you've read up to this point, maybe by now you think i'm pathetic. looking for sympathy.
well damn u.
9.i don't want to post about things that are cheerfully optimistic or have lots of smiley faces and exclamation marks in them at the moment.
10.i'm sick of fair-weather friends. where are you when i need you?
is this too much?
i'm putting this dowm to exam stress(if there is such a thing) an unstable hormones. maybe by tomorrow this will all be a bad dream.
maybe by tomorrow i'll wake up and this will all be gone.
exaggeration and tall tales galore
Sunday, April 15, 2007
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8 comments:
hmm.. long time no hear.
1. i dont blend with people
2. i'll keep that to myself
3. same here. but i dont have a blog anymore. so, skip that
4. i dont really extend a hand for a relationship. coz it make up the point 1. im born with these anti social thing. i think
5. i sleep well. nothing will woke me up from sleep in the middle of the night. seriously nothing! hehe
6. i have emailed a guy in myspace before and it was very exciting. we change a few email but there and then, we stop. the feeling was nice. but im start to think that online rltnships are creepy.
7. i have imaginary myslef who's saying outloud whatever i wanted to say but most of the times failed to.
8. i think i am sorta out of place. not lost just sketchy sometimes.
9. i always write a post when im sad. well, most of the times.
10. yeah, me too.
hmm, sorryla sebb dh buat post sendri dlm ruang comment ko nih. but my point is, we always have this complains in our life. because we are humans. one of those kind that often take things for granted. but well, should really look at those things that we have rather that what we dont have. always turn to our Creator at any point of our life. sad or happy. okay. i have this kind of sad feeling every single day. but im kinda telling this stuff to myself all the times.
oh well. goodluck for ur exams.may Allah be with you. :)
Its okay to feel sad and down.Its okay to feel out of place.Its nice to vent our feelings and frustrations once in a while.It doesnt make you a bad person.
I feel like i don't belong all the time.But,its just okay.Everything will be A-okay.
have a nice week yeah?I pray whatever mess you're going through will subside.
Maybe you're not up for smileys,but here's one for you anyways.
:)
of course there will be points in our current volatile state that we question our beliefs.
if that happens, pray. seek your faith wholeheartedly, and Allah will show it to you. =) been there done that.
heh, fair weather friends eh? it's either fair weather friends or friends that come to us when their weather is not fair. but I suppose that's reality.
chill, mocks will end by the end of the week. :)
if there's such thing called perfect, ppl will stop grumbling.
since there is no such thing except the Almighty, u, complaining here n there, can still be considered as normal.
sympathy comes when from within. ppl around u can feel the vibe if only it is strong. so stop pitying urself.
my advice is, biarkan lah that snobbish guy. there's a bunch of thotful blokes that available for u. u cant simply judge a person by his/her blog. outward appereances n personality might be differ from what u thot. he misunderstood ur nawaitu, i guess.
its never wrong to question. yet, try ur best to find the answer. don't let curiousity kills u.
cradle ur head in ur hands and breathe.
just breathe!
Hah!I read someone using the lyric of my song-of-the-moment Breathe 2 a.m. in her/his comment...seriously,there's not even a friendship that can last to the end.it's a lie,blatant at that if u say that u know anyone who has a friend sticking on his/her back to the end like a flea clinging to cat's fur.For me,enjoy the friendship while it lasts.At certain point,we'll hv to move on.And becoz of dat,there'll be something or someone we hv to leave behind.U can't do much about it.So,lay back and take the chill pill.Be thankful to God that at least for now u still hv friends...
P.S:Mocks start tomorrow and i hv A LOT to cover.And friendster has gotten to my nerve now...
anna:
i try to remind myself to be thankful for what i have, but still tend to forget quite often. thanx for the reminder. you are always welcome to do a post in my ruang comment, heh. i hope you're not sad like this anna, i can't imagine what it'd be like to feel like this everyday!
aijud:
u said it doesn't make me a bad person to vent frustrations and feelings once in a while. thank you, that meant a lot to me. the mess has subsided. by the time mocks are over, i think it'll be done and gone.thanx for the smiley :D
aman:
'of course there will be points in our current volatile state where we question our beliefs'.
ahah, it's reassuing to see someone saying it so matter-of-factly. i think i'm back on the right track :) ahah, yeah, some people only come to us when its rainy on their side. but whatever. just a few more days to go, and we'll be free from exams!well,temporarily. i keep forgetting we have the actual AS coming up :p
anon:
wait a sec, tak faham. u said ppl around me can only feel the vibe when it is strong, so i should stop pitying myself.what vibe are u talking about here? the vibe of me feeling down or them feeling sympathetic or what?
and one more thing, u misinterpreted what i said bout emailing the guy. i'm not dissing him and saying he's snobby for not emailing me or whatnot, i was just disappointed with the fact that i'm quite delusional and tend to get carried away with fantasies, i.e. in this situation it was the daydream of being friends with him. got it?
but either way,yea, i know i shud just chill and breathe instead of launching a self-pitying rant on my blog. check. thanx for the advice.(however, i can't guarantee i won't forget it and not do it again in the future :p)
the game:
hey there. ahah, i recognized it too. Anna nalick, yeah? yeah, i guess not many friendships can survive through everything. we win some, we lose some. so i guess i'll do it ur way:enjoying it while it lasts. oh, good luck for ur mocks!ahah, friendster can get to everyone's nerve. well,no matter. hope u do well for exams.
i'm short of time. but since i dont want to be categorized in ur list of fair-weathered friends, i bubuhgaklah comment.
my brief comment is..
u just have too much time to write all this??
benarkah anda sedang mock?
nani, ur just feeling guilty because i left a really long comment/essay at ur blog, so ur making it up by commenting on all the posts uv missed,betul tak?
ahah,i'm kidding,sorry2.
and YES,i DID have my mocks(though its over now). the time to blog just popped out of nowhere, i swear. it just fell out of the sky.
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