quickie

i've always thought justin timberlake's video for 'sexyback' was pretty stupid. it didn't make sense.

i thought his video for 'My love' was pretty stupid too. especially the part where things would fly out when he sang a line, i.e:'if i wrote you love note..', pieces of paper(representing love notes, i suppose) came flying out around him.

i think blogger is pretty idiotic at the moment. whenever i sign in it keeps redirecting me to the sign in page.

i ate too much kuay teow goreng just now. i'm going to explode, i can feel it.

my parents are going to watch the federer vs sampras exhibition match nanti. the company gave them box-seats or something. lucky. it's a pity they can't bring me. dad told me to "get tickets la. then me and mom will wave at you from the box".

Ya Allah kenyangnye tak tahan. i should restrain myself next time. just because you have one whole styrofoam container of kuay teow goreng doesn't necessarily mean you have to finish all of it, or attempt to.

my chemical romance?here?in malaysia?i didn't see that one coming. though i can easily imagine it now that i know.

Quentin Tarantino likes 'teenagers' by said My Chemical Romance. random fact of the day.

rah, rah, rah!!

All hell's about to break loose.

"this is no Bridget Jones, this is no-KILL THE DIRECTOR!!!!".

My favourite line from The Wombat's 'kill the director'.

this post will be over-stuffed with songs and a video.

ever think that exams are just one big fraud?

SPM was supposed to be the life-altering exam. the exam all the teachers urged you to 'study betul2 kali ni je, untuk last exam ni'. last exam my foot. they portray it like some kind of final walkway, the ultimate gunung of cabaran. so you work your ass off, climbing the stupid gunung, and when you finally reach the top and yelp with delight at your success, what happens then? you find out that there's nothing else to do except climb back down. anti-climax.

here's the problem with exams:you put too much faith in thinking that you'll be gratified if you do well. well, that's my bloody problem anyway.

now here i am again. this time i don't have any teacher/penceramah motivasi telling me how important this exam is, but i figured, 'this is going to determine what university i get in, so that's gotta be somewhat important, yea?'

and when i'm actually in a university, taking my finals, i'll be thinking, 'well, this is going determine whether i get first-class honours or not, so i guess it's important,kan?'. it never ends.

i have no idea whether i'm prepared for the interview tomorrow. if 'prepared' means having read the last 10 issues of The Economist, then no, i am not ready. what IS ready, anyway? tell me what, i'll just try to be honest, and not bull around pretending to be someone i'm not. fair enough? i knew for the start this was going to a long-shot, so why fret over it?

rilo kiley.hmm. now there's a thought. should look up their stuff.

i LOVE this song by Meet Uncle Hussain. and how do i know i love it? the first time i heard it on the radio, i tried to find everything wrong with it. the vocals were too screechy, and i found the way the singer does that thing where malay artistes sing in malay with a slang macam orang mat salleh cakap supremely annoying. but, after a few listens, i had to concede that i just adore this song. jiwang lyrics and all.


so here i face that awful question i usually try to avoid by promising to study hard enough in order to be prepared for exams on time: what if i don't do well? what if i can't do my accounting and get a B, or worse yet,a C?

shitcakes. and it's funny, considering the fact that i HAVE gotten Bs and Cs before, you'd think i'd have gotten it in my head to stop being so kabut about studies.

whatever. i'll just do my best, and let God do the rest.

but wait, HAVE i done my best?

shitcakes.

ok, ok, enough paranoid worrying. here's something to end things nice and sprightly. for those of you who skipped all the songs(and i know most of you have,haha), at least watch this trailer for 'The Nanny Diaries', ok? looks pretty promising.

sugar we're going down swinging

My favourite cousin Syefik(yes syefik, u ARE my favourite, jangan terharu sangat :P) took this pic, and i must say, it sums up PERFECTLY how i've been spending the last few days. Observe:

1. Positioned at the computer. i've been constantly checking my emails obsessively and reading blogs. spending more time at the computer than needed.
2. Mug of cofee on the table. Two cups a day, one for breakfast, another one at night.
3. Pencilbox and papers. props used so i can keep up the illusion that i'm studying.
4. Slumped posture. the mark of a bona-fide procrastinator and budak malas.
5. fingers toying with hair. hmm. i myself have no idea what's up with that.
6. new pajama shorts. woot!

I have a feeling i'm not worrying about my exams as much as i should be. nor am I getting ready for the interview. i know i SHOULD be, and by right be busy with the preperations and all, but all of a sudden i'm thinkng 'feck it'. there's no use trying to pretend i know everything there is to know about sub-prime loans if i don't, right? i will be myself, and in this short space of time i will do what i can to improve my knowledge, but if they don't like me, then it just wasn't meant to be.

ceh, confidentnye. tak tahan.

Happy thoughts. you know what i'd like to be doing?. going crazy listening to kick-ass music on a beach or under trees somewhere. or going on a dancing rampage with Bo Eui and the rest of my awesome classmates. and i'd like to be getting the batman t-shirt i plan to buy as a follow-up to the superman one. and i want to go up to the person(s) i may or may not be having a crush on, and say 'hey, i think you're swell, but i'm seriously tired of waiting for you to notice me and think i'm awesome, so here's to me getting all this off my chest and just not wondering for a change. cheers!'. and i want to be laughing, belly-hurting-tear-inducing laughing.

all of a sudden i'm 19 and have so much to live for, even in this quiet room in the dead of the night in front of a computer.

and then i'm back to looking at the econs notes in front of me and remembering i have a lot of studying to do. shit. ah well. magic never lasts, and isn't even real to begin with.

i know, i know. i sound like i'm on weed or something.

Mengantok with a capital M

i was flipping through the channels this morning, when i came across a segment showing the making of 'V for Vendetta'(which i've yet to see), and for some reason i myself can't fathom, while they were interviewing Hugo Weaving, the thought 'fuh, he's hot' simply popped in my head.

it was exactly like the time i was watching 'Saving Private Ryan' and 'Enemy of the State', when Barry Pepper came on screen.

and what about when i watched Suede's video for 'Attitude' for the first time, during the part where the lights pan on the audience seats and you see Brett Anderson?


what's the point of all this, you may ask? hmm. can i please meet somone who looks like the equivalent of hugo weaving, barry pepper or brett anderson? or maybe all three at once? i don't mind.

and ever since i watched it, i can't seem to be able to get on of those travellators at the airport (or the flat elevators as i used to call them before i saw the term 'travellator' on the thing itself) without thinking of Feist's video for 'My Moon My Man'.

raya was raya. kuih. salam. makan. duit raya. the usual.

i REALLY need to get into gear for exam(i say this everytime exams are near). chop,chop!

i think by now you would have realized this post has no aim or purpose. i'm real sleepy at the moment.

watch the video(if you haven't yet), so that i won't be the only one wanting to skip and dance when i get on a travellator.



g'night people.

berlalulah sudah ramadhan...

i was going to command whoever who read this to click play, but i just figured, 'why not set it on AUTOPLAY?HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!'. dengarkan suara anuar zain ketika muda!

but seriously, selmat hari raya everyone, maaf zahir dan batin. in other words, i'm sorry for anything bad, hurtful, mischievious or naughty(kalau ade :P) i've ever inflicted you with.

p/s:i'll switch off the autoplay once raya spirit has died down, or i go crazy whenever i hear the starting of the song when i look at the page.

p/p/s:i remembered how to do the ketupat!i guess it's because i was so looking forward to weaving ketupat rather than studying, that my brain somehow assisted my relctance to study by digging up the anyam-ketupat memory.

STRENGTH.VISION.FLIGHT.SPEED.

i bought a t-shirt with a superman logo on it today. a FIERY one. yeah,baby. and on the banners surrounding it it says :'STRENGTH. VISION. FLIGHT. SPEED'. i've never been up-to-date with my Marvel comics, so i have no idea whether that's Superman's motto or whatnot, but whatever goes. who am i to question the words of he-of-the-red-underpants?

i've been having somewhat of a...rough patch, i guess you could call it. and i'm no stranger to rough patches, my friends and my blog could pretty much confirm that (*rolls eyes rolls eyes rolls eyes*), but i think this time the shit just hit the fan. it was like some inner demon was realeased.(bad inner-demon, BAD BOY..)

i think i rippled some waves this time around, and for that, i'm sorry. i can't undo the things i felt, and i can't take back my moodiness and loss-of-enthusiasm during those few days, so the best i can do is say i'm sorry, and that i won't let it happen again. and i can say thanks for sticking around for me even through my shitty behaviour. thanks, yo.

i can't make promises, but i'll settle with saying that i will try my damndest not to subject my friends through these kind of rough patches again. and i will try my hardest to make sure the inner-demon won't overcome me no more. while wearing a blazing superman logo across my heart...woot!

is this how exam stress feels like? waking up with your teeth clenched every morning and dreading the thought of doing anything related to studies? ntah, i don't think so. is there even such a thing as exam stress? half the time i think i'm just kidding myself. surely stress is brought on by more serious things, like the death of a loved one or if you get fired or something? i'm a 19 year-old girl living in the pampered world of the 21st century. i'm not supposed to be experienced or knowledgeable enough to even know what stress is.

yeah, well. i haven't been studying for nuts throughout this weekend, and it feels super! i'm going to make kuih raya tomorrow, too. i know study time is running out, and i should get cracking, but i think i needed the break. everyone needs a break. you need a break, i need a break, we all need a break. so break la. plus, my friend Tai was telling me 'you can study without being stressed, you know', and those words have been echoing in my head. why not? i have this idea of balancing out the tension-inducing hormones with happy ones. generate happy spasms to counter-react the tense clenching.

at the moment, some of the things that get my cheer on:
1. my fiery superman logo t-shirt(obviously)
2. the fact that there are still people in the world nice enough to anonymously pay for my grandparents while they were out eating at a kedai.
3. there was a good movie on just now
4. i got new pajama shorts(the ones i have now are DISINTEGRATING, honest)
5. got shelves and the painting AND pictures finally put up, so my room looks cheery. no more blank walls.

Jamie Scott and The Town, 'When will I See Your Face Again'.

ring-a-ring-o'-posies

Firdaus a.k.a The Game tagged me (thanks,mate), so i'm glad to be able to have an excuse to gush about myself randomly :p

The Rules:
1. Each blogger must post these rules first.
2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve tagged, and to read your blog.

*flexes fingers*.hmm.

1.I DESPISE it when i'm about to go to sleep, and have just switched off my bedside table lamp, but suddenly i see that i've left my bathroom light on, or the hallway light outside my room hasn't been switched off. gah. my laziness makes me shut my eyes and think 'biar jelah' and try to go to sleep, but 2 seconds later i keep thinking about all the money i'm forcing my parents to waste for the electricity bill. so with a grunt, i'll get up and switch the offending light off.

2.i'm afraid of small children. whenever i'm around the presence of a child, more so a baby or a toddler, i feel like i'm obliged to try and make them smile or laugh or something. but my social retardity impedes my attempts to do so, and normally the child will just look at me questionably(unless it's a really friendly and cheerful baby we're talking about here).

3. i wouldn't mind if fish and beef were taken away from my meals. but if you try and restrain my right from having chicken, i swear, i will kick your ass.

4. Every year, we'll weave ketupat to make nasi impit. and every year so far, without fail, mom has to re-teach me how to anyam the thing. it's like i have seasonal memory loss. i only remember how to make ketupat during raya. we haven't started making the ketupat this year yet, so we'll see how it goes. maybe i'll remember this time.

5. I used to have this paranoid fear that we are all just self-absorbed creatures, and our friendships and relationships are based on our level of tolerance for other people's egoes, and their tolerance for ours. that's just sad, isn't it? but nah, i've learnt that real friendships wouldn't work that way.

6. i am supremely reluctant to listen or watch or read anything that's in french (though kakak is always reprimanding me for that by screeching 'why noooooot???'), simply because it's a reminder of how i dropped my french lessons once high school habis and despite the fact i spent four years learning the language, i still am not more that beginner's level and cannot translate anything except words like I, you, he/she, chicken, pig, and ever famous phrases such asI don't understand and where is the toilet?.

7. i can't think of any other points beside these 6 at the moment, though i know once i've posted this thing and am doing other activities, all kinds of points will pop in my head and i'll think 'laaaa, apesal i didn't think to include this in just now?'. yeah. the classic 'I-shoulda-said-this' syndrome. i have a bad case of it.

8. just included here to adhere to protocol.

so i'm tagging aijud, nani, anna, kakak, shao, kye, aman, aki. HOWEVER, and please take note, if you guys malas nak buat ni (i know some people dislike doing these tag thingies), then feel free to skip. trust me, i won't be offended in any way :p