Hello lamp post...whatcha doin'?

i wish i could just buy all the songs i wanted. when i like a track, i wish i could buy the album containing that song, the whole kit and caboodle.pendek kate, i don't want to download things anymore. it makes me feel so freaking guilty.

the wonders of file-sharing. when i was first introduced to it(iMesh, in the computer kat bilik kaunseling semashur, circa 2002), i was overjoyed at the thought of being able to find any song i like, and downloading it so easily. so convenient! so fantastic! so of course, the whole downloading/making playlists/burning cds phase came about.

So from imesh, to kazaa, to limewire, to Aeres. i've heard the campaigns aganinst file-sharing copyrighted stuff, i knew that it's detrimental and unfair to artists and stuff, but i still did it, and i still do.

But lately my conscience is starting to get to me. i mean, it's always been there, quietly but consistently bugging me whenever i'm downloading anything, but now it's not so quiet so much as to shout in my head. 'WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! KATE JE SUKE THIS BAND OR THAT SINGER OR WHATEVER, BUT IF YOU REALLY LIKED THEIR MUSIC, YOU'D BUY IT AND LET THEM EARN THE ROYALTIES AS THEY SO RIGHTLY DESERVE!'.

Yeah. My most recent downloading binge came about with Greg Laswell, but now i've stopped because he's producing too many good songs for me to rip him off. I'm sorry, Greg Laswell. I will buy your cd if only i could find a shop around here that actually sells it.

Now, it's Albert Hammond Jr. Please ship your cd to Malaysia. PLEASE.

Problems:
1. I don't actually have the funds to buy every cd i want.
2. A lot of times the CD i want can't be found in shops here, or else i just have very bad luck when it comes to looking for a specific cd.
3. i'd buy the cd i want online, but it practically always needs paypal or a credit card or whatnot, which i don't have, and i doubt my parents would lend me theirs.

selambe badak je cakap pasal downloading stuff and whatnot,ah? yeah,well. whatever.

i wish the bands/singers i like would actually come down to malaysia and perform. you know what turns me off? when a band comes to singapore, but skips malaysia and moves straight on to Bangkok. or, lagi best, they just come to Singapore and that's it. Their one-stop-centre for South East Asia. pfft.

You know what else is irritating?Going to midvalley and seeing a guy carrying his girlfriend's handbag. For God's sake, why would he do that? better still, why would the girlfriend LET him do that?i find it such a demeaning gesture(for the guy). Very de-macho-tizing.

Here's something random. have you ever read 'life of Pi'? it's one of my favourites. there's this one part in the book, where Pi meets the muslim man and learns about Islam. Once of the things the muslim man told him was "if you take two steps towards God, God runs to you!". I liked that sentence a lot, it stuck in my mind. a couple weeks ago, i was pleasantly surprised to find out that that sentence is actually a real hadith as riwayat-ed(i don't know the english word for riwayat :P) by Salman Al-Farisi.

Dari sahabat Salman Al-Farisi r.a, ia berkata, Rasulullah SAW bersabda: " Allah ta'ala berfirman:"Bila hamba mendekatkan diri kepadaKu satu jengkal, Aku mendekatinya satu dzira'. Dan jika hamba mendekatkan diri padaKu satu dzira', maka Aku mendekatinya satu hasta, dan bila hamba mendatangi Aku dengan berjalan, maka Aku mendatanginya sambil berlari"

it gets tiring after a while to read someone's friendster profile and read in the 'about me' section something akin to the following:i hate back-stabbers and hypocrites. Don't judge me unless you get to know me first. i don't really smile to people i don't know, so some people may think i'm arrogant. i'm not. once you get to know me, i'm really friendly. i don't know how to describe myself, but here's some of the things people have said about me...(followed by a number of glowing testimonial excerpts).

my favourite subject is economics. i LOVE economics! well, i don't really like it when it's during exams or when we have to do assignments or answer data response, but i love the whole idea of it. It has a direct and obvious link to what's going on around us. science subjects like physics and bio have an even more blatant connection with everyday life(i.e.:twirl a wet umbrella around and droplets of water come flying off!the wonders of inertia!)i guess, but i'm really no good in science. i wish i was.

i think i really was meant for arts, though. i've finally found my niche in the education system! i feel relieved whenever i think of this and compare it to the days when i took physics. me and physics, sadly to say, just don't click. i used to be in a literal daze whenever we had physics class. getting my physics paper back after a test succeeded in making me feel dumber each time. you know when you try your hardest to study something and it doesn't work and your grades don't improve?yeah. it was a dead end with physics.

but now i'm here, and as stupid as this may sound, i still get this tingly feeling of happiness whenever i evaluate what i'm studying(when i'm not cursing bile my accounts don't balance). this was just meant to be.

do you often think ahead, and you realize that by the time something happens, something else would have already passed? like, by the time kakak comes home, my AS will be over. by the time i sit for my A2, kakak will have gone back. by the time my 'P' license expires, i'll be done with A-levels. By the time i finish A-Levels, nani and sal will have already flown off to their respective foreign universities. yeah. it's sorta depressing to think like that at times. but whatever. one obstacle at a time.

If i had a wheelbarrow full of money,i would buy:
1. Spin, Q, Juice, Junk, and whatever other music magazine.
2. The new Sue Monk Kidd book.
3. CDs
4. Sunglasses for mom.
5. Grey's Anatomy season 3 box set.
6. DVD for Blades of Glory or whatever movie that tickles my fancy.
7. Go watch all the summer blockbusters at the cinema.
8. Blanje my friends to a meal, and ice cream.
9. Buy a whole bag of those Staedtler coloured pens so i'd finally be able to have colorful notes in class.
10. A new collar for Cleo.
11. A loofah, and skin moisturizer.
12. Go to a hair salon and change my hairstyle.
13. A smashing present for whoever's birthday is coming up.
14. clothes. mut buy some casual t-shirts and shorts.
15. Since i have a barrow full of money, might as well get House box set dvds, for all seasons.
16. alarm clocks(proper ones that force you to get up).
17. an extra telekung.
18. oh yeah. proper outfit for prom.
19. dangly earrings.
20. decorations for my room.

damn panjang this post. but really, listing down all the stuff you can't buy can be quite therapeutic. try it yourself.



this song makes me happy. 'She Loves You' by The Beatles. It's as if the song is saying 'like, duh! You have EVERY reason to be rejoicing. why aren't you?'.

this is what blogs are for.