Crispy M&Ms

I've started so many blog drafts and left them unfinished, it's quite ridiculous. Bear with me? I've just watched Twilight(don't judge), and now I have this piece called Bella's Lullaby by Carter Burwell stuck in my head.

Who the hell cries when watching So You Think You Can Dance? What kind of pathetic creature starts welling up when a contestant manages to survive the contemporary piece and manages to make it to Top 20, or when only one of the brothers gets to go on the show?

Me. I happen to be that pathetic creature. My ability to cry at things like reality dance shows still manages to fascinate, disgust, but mostly just annoy me. My earliest memory of crying while watching something can be traced back to when I went to watch Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame at the cinema. Stupid Esmeralda. She just had to go with the blond sergeant or whatever he was, didn't she? Of course the ugly guy ends up alone. I may have been young, about 8 or 9 I guess, but I was already weeping over the injustice that is unrequited love.

How I got from crying over Quasimodo to crying over So You Think You Can Dance beats me. If anything, I'd like to give my tear ducts a good scolding. "Can't you AT LEAST be more selective and choose something actually worth crying over?!Like kittens??".

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I know my music collection is pretty puny, but I like how I more or less have at least a song or two for any occasion. For days when I feel like singing out loud, the more intricate the lyrics the better. Songs for eighties dancing, daydreaming, for staring outside some form of transportation. Tunes for sentimentality, for longing. And of course, songs for every shade of sadness.

However, I've come to realize that I don't have any songs for when I'm angry. There were a few occasions recently where I was mad and needed some music to channel my rage, but then I found I didn't have anything that seemed angry enough. The closest I got was Speedhorn by The Noisettes, but for me that's a song tinged with sadness, and I wanted something louder, more bitter. Recommendations?

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Watching the video of someone going bungee jumping is already making my heart beat faster, who knows how it will be if and when I'm actually standing at the ledge ready to step into nothing? I wish I could do it with a friend. With Azrieal! Besides the idea of actually jumping which is already daunting, the prospect of having to make small talk and deal with awkward gaps of conversation with whoever that's tying the cord to my legs and strapping me in is another point of reluctance. But if I don't do it this time around, when and where else? I don't want to look back over 2009 come December 31st and remember I could have gone bungee-jumping but was too chicken shit. And I will NOT let reluctance to do it alone deter me either.

Two pictures:

Yes, that's Aina and Sal, gloriously showing off the wonder that is a giant tap. Yes, that's Anna giving a somewhat reluctant smile and peace sign, no doubt perturbed by the enthusiastic models beside her. Yes, I ate an astounding amount of KFC and junk food during exam season.

And yes, that is Logs being the utter gentleman, sewing and tightening all four of my winter coat buttons. No, I can't sew, and yes, I is failure.