blisters

I am sleepy.

When i'm sleepy, i behave similarly to people who are drunk. i tend to ramble and sprout out nonsensical and often incoherent words. so don't mind me.

i got back from meeting my dad's friend about half an hour ago. I had dinner with her, her son, and a couple of her son's friends. I had a pleasant enough time, good food, and good enough conversation. But i had one heck of a time going to and coming back from that rendezvous.

We planned to meet up at her hotel, so i had to take a tram downtown to flinders street. but, the tram stopped at la trobe street(pretend you're drunk and know melbourne geography), and i assumed it was because it was good friday or whatnot. so i had to walk the rest of the way, which was fine, really, the weather was perfect for a stroll, and i had time to kill before i had to be there. but then when i got to flinders street, a huge chunk of the road was blocked off and road works were going on, so i had to take this somewhat significant detour before i could cross the road. i ended up walking behind fed square and walking around it before i could finally cross the river and get to southbank, where the hotel is. and by that time i was aware that i was cutting close on time, so i scurried along(my pumps making this nice 'clack-clack' sound as they hit the pavement, and i got to southbank.

then i got lost and couldn't locate the entrance to the hotel. and i realized i was on the verge of late. unfuckingbelievable. excuse the foul language.

but not to worry, i got there, and the auntie was all nice about it. so we went for dinner, and i met her son and his friends, and she even took us for dessert too. i had an eclair. yay.

and then we seperated, and her son went off with his friends, and i walked the nice auntie back to her hotel, where i bade her farewell after assuring her a number of times that yes, i would be fine, and no, she needn't accompany me, and started off back to swanston street. i walked along the river, and it was cold, and the moon was out and brilliant, like a spotlight in the sky. and i found myself thinking, just a few steps after i started walking, was that i wished someone was walking with me. and then i got blisters and my feet hurt.

at first, i think it was a practical wish. as in, it was a lovely night, perfect for taking a walk, and it was such a shame that i was walking alone. and then it became sentimental. i wanted someone to walk with, so i could have someone to talk to. It was a beautiful night, and ought to be shared with someone i cared about.

and then i reached the city, and there were loads of people walking about, and suddenly i thought 'isn't the city dangerous at night? especially on friday night, what with the possibility of drunkards at all the corner pubs?' and 'mom and dad told me not to walk around by myself at night', and found myself wishing for a guy to be walking with, to offer a sense of security. and, put together the practical wish, the sentimental wish, and the safety wish, and i found myself concluding that i wished i had a boyfriend.

suddenly wanting a boyfriend so as to have someone to walk with is absurd. it's like wanting to have boyfriend so that you'd have someone to lift all the heavy stuff.

sidenote: i can hear people laughing and screaming outside on the streets. hello, drunk people. Good friday, eh?

anyway, where was i? boyfriend?yeah. it was a stupid impulse thought. don't remind me, and i'll forget it in the morning.

but, for the moment, i can recall, besides the the blisters, wanting quite badly to have the soft shuffles of sneakers beside the 'clack-clacks' of my pumps.