Hummingbird

I thought i was sleepy, but the coffee i had at Azrieal's place just now had me wide-eyed and blinking in bed.

Kakak answered my plea for new songs and gave me a bunch of really are lovely tunes. Kakak, that song by The Maccabees is pretty! And that french song Mon Coeur Mon Amour rocks too. I will email you and gush more about the songs soon.

I have run out of things to blog about. i realize that my repertoire of blogging material has revolved around the following main topics:

• apologizing over the fact i never blog about something substantial
• apologizing over the fact that the things i blog about are self-indulgent
• feeling shitty(and the causes of said shitty feeling-mainly social awkwardness and low self-esteem)
• the food i eat
• the songs i listen to and the movies i've been watching
• benda-benda random yang merapu

ok,ok,ok. Because of the lack of material to blog about, I am going to tell you one thing that's made me very happy since coming here to melbourne, and it's not even some attraction in melbourne in the first place. I call home once a week, and whenever i call home, i usually talk to each member of the family present. Whenever i talk to my dad, and the conversation's about to come to an end, he'll finish by saying "Ok, I'll talk to you again soon. I love you".

Oklah, i won't be all soap-opera-ish and bore you with the details of family relationships and whatnot, but to those who don't get what the big deal is, you're probably accustomed to such phrases up to a point where you might take it for granted. Don't. Don't EVER EVER EVER take expressions of affection for granted.

this may sound supremely pathetic, but i'm reading my old posts. I've gotten up to about early last year so far, but man. Man,oh man,oh man. i feel like the person who wrote those posts back then was naive, slightly pathetic(the movie post still annoys me), and perhaps a bit too perky(but also moody) at times, but God, i kind of wish i was her. No, not exactly. I mean, i'm still all of those things i think, but i don't know. i feel like i've changed a bit. Just a bit, because how much can a person change in a year and a half anyway? but i think there is some sort of difference, and not necessarily for the better. yergh, how do i put this? i read my old posts and get this sort of wistful, somewhat regretful feeling. It feels like you've lost something you want or had, and regret the fact you didn't do anything to retain it.

That's it. i feel like i've lost something, some better part of me that may have existed back then.

AISY. so much for not blogging self-indulgently. are you bored with all of this? i am too.