Strawberry Glaze

I burnt my tongue when I popped the piece of microwaved doughnut with the strawberry glaze on top into my mouth today. adoi.

I came off far more somber in the previous post than what I actually felt at the time of writing, so I'm sorry for that. I wasn't fishing for sympathy(though perhaps I was, hmmmHMMMMM), but thank you again to afnan and aijud and kero for the kind words. much appreciated.

And hey, it's come to my attention(thanks to all the prerequisite end-of-year blog posts) that we're about to dive(or perhaps just slip quietly) into 2009. well, I'll be damned. Where'd the year go to anyway?(please imagine me saying this with a southern drawl. just try!).

If this were a different point in time, I suppose I'd be all mushy and try to sum up how this year has went, and trust me, I can vouch for the fact that it would have been a very glum(and stupid) post. But for some reason I'm feeling awful chipper tonight, so maybe I can flip all this around? It would be nice to look back on this post a couple years from now and think "hey, I seemed awful cheerful back on new year's eve '08".

I know there's only a handful of you out there actually reading this(like what,5?) so I know there's no need for me to worry about sounding like a bimbo, or whether I'm supposed to talk about the more 'meaningful' aspects of 2008 that can somehow relate to you who are reading. It doesn't really matter what I write, does it? Oh, of course this post, as with every other post I publish here; will always have that tinge of self-consciousness that I detest, but I'm pretty sure that whoever that's reading this is a friend, and I hope you'll see beyond all the self-centered ramblings. Or just accept it.

While we were in Singapore, I was horsing around with kakak. At one point, I made a joke about something, and after we were done laughing, she mentioned something along the lines of how I was crazy, and am I like this around other people? And I thought about it, and I replied, "No. I'm only like this with you", to which my sister said she felt privileged to be able to see this side of me.

And that, I think, pretty much says it all. My lament for 2008. My resolution for 2009, perhaps(but what's a resolution if you have a nagging feeling deep down that you won't actively set out to achieve it?). I wish I was the way I am around my sister with all of you('you' includes all friends,acquaintances,random people, the people in the debate team, extended family members, the safeway cashier I had a crush on, everyone in general). Maybe 2008 wouldn't have been so screwed up if I was.

of course, it's not only that. You've also got to put my religious beliefs, my studies, and all the other little knick-knacks that you accumulate throughout the year into the equation. And I think I'm phrasing it wrong. It isn't the year 2008 that's screwed up. It is the person I was during the year.

Do you really believe in the power of a new year as a blank slate? If you do, it'd be nice if you could give me one in your books. I'm sorry for whatever trouble I've caused you.

Ah well.

Selamat tahun baru.