So Alive

I woke up this morning feeling ugly. You know how it goes. You feel fat, what you wear doesn't look flattering, you can't get your hair to look right, you're a hot mess. So I wasn't feeling too chirpy about it.

Then, I was getting ready to go to the library now, so I brushed my hair and walked over to the mirror, and the image that greeted me was horrendous. There I was, shiny forehead, messy hair(despite all my efforts to control it, my hair is rebelling against me, I sense it), zits, dry nose. I took one look at myself, did a sort of mini mata-terbeliak-gasp moment, and spontaneously choked out "I'm so ugly!". And then, wonderfully, something about it seemed funny straight away, I started chuckling while going off to blow-dry my hair(in vain, it still looks horrendous), and I started feeling a whole lot better.

I know it's a stupid thing to mention here, but it isn't often when feeling ugly elicits cheerfulness. It's a contradictory phenomenon, it is. I don't know. Maybe it worked out that way because I had just been thinking about meeting Kelly for jazz class tonight, and accompanying Shao Min to buy something that is quite awesome. Maybe it's because two mid-sem tests went ok yesterday, and I have only one left on Friday. Maybe it's because I was safe with the knowledge I'd done my Subuh prayers(even if it was a bit late), maybe it was the idea of calling my mom and explaining the concept that she has to be online on Skype(not just have an account) for me to call her. It could have been the fact I'd just remembered Ryan Adams' So Alive(which somehow disappeared from my player) and was re-listening to the kickass tune. Maybe it's because I just had coffee and a pb&j toasted sandwich for breakfast.

All good things, all nice things. So what if I'm ugly? I have good things to look forward to. I think I can handle ugliness today.

I have a date with a Cost Management textbook now, so I'll see you guys later.