Sparkly

Two things:

1. This morning, after sahur, i decided to go back to sleep.

I'm volunteering at some amusement park for kids. somehow i end up on this helicopter ride designed to go around really fast and pretend to crash so that we'd get a feel of what people in helicopter crashes face. so we take off and i'm aware that my dad's in the helicopter as well. The helicopter swoops around like mad, i'm enjoying it like any roller-coaster,feeling the contents of my stomach swirl around. Then we crash, and we crash into water. the sea, or a huge lake. i panic, but then remind myself this is all part of the ride. water starts gushing in and apprehension swoops in. any minute,now, i tell myself. any minute the helicopter will jolt and shoot out of the water. I can feel the water coming into the chopper fast and realize that perhaps that isn't going to happen. The water gushes in and now i'm trapped in a small enclosed space between the helicopter roof, i suppose, and the water. I pace myself, try to take steady breaths, but even then i can feel my heartbeat quickening and my steady inhale exhale motions becoming gasps. Then something happens, maybe the water's filled up over my head. I become aware that I might die. I close my eyes, and I lose my mind or surrender to this ill-fated ride, I can't tell. But I keep my eyes closed, feel all this horribleness twist in my head and suddenly I realize I'm in bed. My eyes are closed because I'm still asleep, and this is all just a bad dream. At first I'm not quite sure, and I'm cautious about it because I don't want to give myself false hope. but then I feel my pillow under my head, and my quilt covering my shoulders, so it's all good. I'm not dying after all.

Pointless retelling. But that acute feeling of relief is something i'd like to jot down and remember.

2. Today while I was transferring my laundry from the washing machine to the drier, i zoned out for a moment, only to look down and see i was re-transferring my clothes from the drier back to the washing machine.

Bonus point: It took me long enough, but I've just noticed that I really really really like Feist's video for I Feel It All. It looks/sounds/feels so carefree.

I'd rather be baking a cake than doing my homework. but i don't have a mixer, and assignments seem to be very important.

Kakak Saya

Hi. Ini kakak saya.(Yang di sebelah kiri, bukan yang di sebelah kanan).

Saya ingin menceritakan serba sedikit mengenai kakak saya.

Ketika kami kanak-kanak, kakak saya suka menyakitkan hati saya. Dia sering mengusik dan mengejek saya sehingga saya berasa tertekan. Pada suatu hari, kakak saya mengusik saya sehingga saya hilang sabar. Tatkala dia sedang berjalan ke arah bilik tidurnya, saya hilang kawalan dan menerkam ke arahnya dengan mulut terbuka. NGAP! Saya menggigit bontotnya sekuat hati. Kakak saya menjerit. Saya berasa puas.

(Walaupun saya telah menceritakan kisah ini berberapa kali, saya tetap mahu mengulanginya, sempena hari yang istimewa ini).

Satu objek yang dikongsi oleh saya dan kakak saya merupakan kereta Kembara berwarna merah. Kakak saya menggunakannya ketika dia sedang menuntut di Kolej Sunway. Setelah dia berangkat ke negara asing untuk meneruskan pelajaran, saya pula menggunakan kereta tersebut. Kereta ini menjadi punca perbalahan antara kami pada suatu masa. Kakak saya telah menamakan kereta tersebut 'Sascha', tanpa meminta persetujuan saya. Saya tidak puas hati apabila mendapat tahu tentangnya ("Apa KEJADAHNYA kereta ini dinamakan Sascha?!"), maka saya pun memberi nama baru kepada kereta itu, iaitu 'Madeleine'. Walau bagaimanapun, sekarang setelah memikirkannya semula, saya tidak suka akan nama 'Madaleine'. Saya berpendapat kereta itu harus diberi nama baru yang melambangkan kegagahan(kerana warnanya yang merah). Apa kata kita berikan nama Melayu kepadanya?

Ha, saya telah mendapat ilham. Mari kita namakannya 'Keris Merah'. Saya rasa begitu sesuai. Tapi janganlah kita hilang fokus utama post ini, iaitu untuk megupas tentang kakak saya.

Kakak saya seorang yang bijak. Sepanjang hayatnya(yang InsyaAllah masih panjang), dia sering mendapat keputusan cemerlang untuk semua peperiksaannya yang utama(peperiksaan percubaan tidak termasuk). Bak kata orang putih, dia sentiasa lepas dengan warna-warna berterbangan. Dia baru sahaja selesai mendapat ijazahnya daripada universiti yang berprestij(adakah wujud perkataan 'prestij'? saya tidak pasti) dalam bidang undang-undang. Dia juga merupakan seorang yang sangat aktif, dan sentiasa terlibat dalam pelbagai aktiviti . Dia telah memenangi pelbagai pertandingan dan anugerah sepanjang zaman persekolahannya dan juga ketika dia menuntut di kolej dan universiti. Saya sungguh bangga dengan semua kejayaannya, walaupun perasaan bangga itu sering bercampur-aduk dengan perasaan cemburu yang teramat. Bak kata orang putih(sekali lagi), saya hijau dengan cemburu.

Kakak saya juga mempunyai minat dan hobi-hobi yang menarik. Dia seorang yang sangat suka akan muzik, dan telah menghadiri banyak konsert yang dianjurkan oleh pelbagai pasukan pancaragam(band) ketika dia di negara penjajah, termasuk Coldplay, Radiohead, We Are Scientists, dan sebagainya.

Nota rambang: Cubalah terjemahkan semua nama pancaragam yang disebut di atas ke dalam bahasa melayu. sungguh menggelikan hati, bukan?

Kebanyakkan artis yang saya minati telah diperkenalkan oleh kakak saya. Saya terhutang budi kepadanya di atas perkara ini.

Selain itu, kakak saya suka membaca. Tetapi ini suatu hobi yang sudah biasa didengari dan tidak menarik, maka saya tidak akan menyentuh tentangnya secara mendalam. Pendek kata, dia telah menghabiskan beratus-ratus buku. Ok, isi seterusnya.

Tapi sebelum itu, gambar yang cantik:

Dalam gambar ini, kakak saya nampak cantik. Susu goyang(milkshake) yang saya minum nampak cantik. Cuma saya sahaja yang tidak berjaya nampak cantik. Tapi tidak mengapa. Kecantikkan itu hanya sedalam kulit.

Kakak saya juga gemar menari tarian buaian!(swing dance). Pada pendapat saya, ini adalah satu hobi yang sangat hebat. Dia mempelajari cara menari tarian buaian ketika di universiti, dan sungguh giat menghadiri acara-acara menari buaian secara beramai-ramai. Malah, dia pernah menjejak kaki ke Sweden(ataupun negara IKEA) semata-mata untuk menghadiri bengkel tarian buaian. Walaupun saya tidak pernah melihatnya menari dengan mata saya sendiri, saya yakin dia seorang penari buaian yang mantap.

Ok, beralih pula ke agenda yang serius. Walaupun kakak saya pernah membuatkan saya sungguh marah hingga menggigit bontotnya, dia juga telah banyak membantu saya seumur hidup. Tatkala saya sedih, dia merupakan satu-satunya manusia yang boleh memujuk saya dengan kata-kata yang tepat. Niat saya bukan untuk berkata kawan-kawan saya memberi kata-kata yang salah, oh tidak. Maksud saya di sini adalah kakak saya memahami saya secara lebih mendalam dan mampu memahami situasi yang dihadapi oleh saya.

When I'm sad, she knows how i feel, and says the things i need to hear. She gets it right, every time. It may be cool to have a sister who went to LSE, who listens to good music, is outstanding in whatever she does and wherever she goes, and does something out of the ordinary like swing dancing. But at the end of the day it comes down to the fact that I have a sister who I can laugh with, who helps me unconditionally, and is there for me when i need her.

Saya bersyukur kerana mempunyai kakak sepertinya.

Hari ini merupakan ulangtahun hari jadi kakak saya yang ke dua-puluh tiga. Apabila saya cuba menelaah situasi ini, saya kadang-kala tergamam. Kakak saya sudah berumur 23? Ya Allah. Dia sudah dewasa. Adakah ini bermaksud saya sendiri juga sudah dewasa?

Ah, tidak mengapa. Soalan itu boleh di jawab di lain hari(dan lain bahasa). Yang penting di sini, hari ini ulangtahun hari lahir kakak saya.Satu perkara yang saya perhatikan sepanjang masa berlalu adalah bahawa semakin umur kita meningkat, ulangtahun hari lahir kita semakin kurang istimewa, dan tidak berebeza dengan hari-hari yang lain. Tetapi saya berpendapat hari lahir kakak saya harus disambut dengan seberapa meriah yang boleh. Biar meriah sampai mengalahkan hari jadi saya yang ke-sembilan, di mana saya memakai skirt kembang dan mengadakan parti serta mendapat pelbagai hadiah, termasuk anak patung Barbie yang mempunyai mekanisme beroda yang membolehkannya bergerak seperti sedang menari tarian bilik bola(ballroom dancing).

Happy birthday,kak. You deserve an awesome one.

roti jala

Lyrics that make you tingle:

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I ever had
-Garu Jules, Mad World (which apparently is a cover of a Tears for Fears song)

I made roti jala.

with a can.

into which i poked holes.

awesome.

I mean, it's awesome that i've resorted to innovative yet rudimentary techniques to achieve my objectives. The roti jala itself is pretty decent i guess, not as great as my mom's but hey! it looks like a jala. and that's all that counts. I would have liked to make curry according to step-by-step instructions nani gave me to accompany it, but i don't have chicken nor curry powder. oh well. i'll make do with instant korma. Does korma go with roti jala? Mari kita cuba.

The Bureau of Meterology's website shows a forecast of pretty decent temperatures in Melbourne for the week(and Sydney too, aijud!). Spring's coming,yo. and summer thereafter. start stripping, folks.

Diyana Izzati told me good news yesterday. I can't say this enough, I'm super happy for you! you derserve this, and I couldn't be more glad. alamak. terharu la pulak. ok, moving on.

Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale(bless them, for some reason I hope they stay together forever) named their newborn son Zuma Nesta Rock. ape?

Kings of Leon. Only By The Night. out September 23rd. Just in case we forget. My mid-sem break would have started by then. perfect. Hmm. Will the record store have them by that day? We'll be fasting by then!it'll almost be raya! whoah.

Floating petrol prices back home? who knows, maybe it'll work. but i had to stifle a snicker watching the video of the Domestic Trade minister proclaiming that the reduction in the price to RM2.55 wasn't a political gimmick or related to the by-election.

Homework. must get on with the homework. but first, lunch.

oh!try checking out the trailer for The House Bunny, Anna Faris' new movie. It looks like the perfect fluffy movie(think Legally Blonde). The thing she does when she tries to remember peoples' names is freaking hilarious. I watched the full clip of that scene on the movie website, had me in stitches.

Chicken Stock

A brief post, as the madness of tests to do and assignments to start on swirl around in dizzying proportions.

I had to call the health cover people the other day, and as I finished resolving my predicament with one of the phone consultants, I said the usual chirpy "thank you so much!", to which she replied "no problem" or "no worries" or something like that. and then there was a moment of silence, where neither of us ventured to end the conversation gracefully. A couple of seconds ticked by awkwardly, so in the end I found myself exclaiming in a wonderful sing-song voice worthy of being on Disney Playchannel, "Well, i hope you have a nice day then! BYE!"(extra lilting tone at the end) and as I said those words, I found myself thinking 'Wow. i can practically pass off as one of them'. The phone consultant was practically struggling to keep up and match my over-joyed cheerfulness.

Three things I am tired of reading in the news/magazines:
1. Rape incidents(I feel like rapists should be punished in some way that violates them just as much as they violated their victims).
2. Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and their twins.
3. Anwar, Saiful, and everyone urging Anwar to swear on the Quran.

Malaysian music! I've had the good fortune of coming across this Malaysian singer named Yuna, and wow. her voice is some kind of special. her myspace page only has one full song and her EP teaser, but even that is enough to keep me captivated, replaying them a number of times. I'm happy she's coming out with an EP. she should! I mean, my exposure to local female singers singing in english has been limited to Sarimah and Cheryl Samad and, uh, let's just say my impression wasn't very good. so it's fantastic to hear her stuff. and she cited bob dylan as one of her influences! aww. i'm so impressed whenever i come across someone very into bob dylan. I easily awed liddat.

wishlist item number #46: to be better exposed to the malaysian independent music scene. there's good local music out there. i just don't know how to get to it. pertolongan dialu-alukan.

I must go off to do the twice daily ritual off splashing water all over me. tally-ho.

I came up with a post title but then decided it sounded too bloody jiwang

Today, for the second time, I noticed how coffee makes me happy. and not just in a figurative sense either, but seriously. i think there was a biological effect, as a result of an addiction I've cultivated for it.

For one thing, I was feeling quite disgruntled this afternoon. The causes of the disgruntlement were trivial of course, but nonetheless, I was trudging off from my Business Process Analysis class (do you know what this is about? me neither. I barely understand what it really is for even though this is the third week of the semester) in an un-bunny-prancing-happily way. I spent about an hour doing homework while waiting for my next lecture, and then, as I headed for the lecture theater, I decided to grab a cup of coffee first.

Ah!The joy of holding a warm cup of coffee(cappuccino, one sugar) in your hand while you trudge to class on a semi-cloudy winter's day! The most excitement I had all day.

Unless you consider walking to class in the rain clutching your umbrella and praying that the wind won't blow it upwards and turn it into a rain-catcher like last time exciting. I call it nerve-wrecking.

Anyway, I got to the theater, spotted a friend and soon got seated, all the while taking sips of the lovely nectar. Flash forward about 20 minutes later into the lecture, I was HAPPY. All disgruntlement forgotten, I was happily thinking about cupcakes, birthday cards and optimistic plans to socialize.

What was I doing thinking about cupcakes during an accounting lecture, you ask?(or don't ask, whatever). ntahlah. I have no idea. Gah. and here I am wondering why I'm finding our tute work so troublesome. Tulah Atiqah, fikir lagi pasal cupcakes. Bagaimana anda hendak menjadi pelajar yang bijak dan berhemah?

Anyway, the point is, that was the second time I noticed that drinking coffee made me feel a whole lot more cheerful. I suspect I'm properly addicted to it. Well, I concede that I've always needed a cup in the mornings, but that was because it jolted me awake and had me all bright-eyed and blinking. It never made me happy.

I googled to see if coffee's been known to cause happiness, and I came across this site that said it stimulates dopamine, a hormone apparently related to happy feelings. So I wiki-ed dopamine (not the best of references, but oh-so-handy), and! and! it says, among other things, that

Dopamine is commonly associated with the pleasure system of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform certain activities. Dopamine is released (in particular areas....) by naturally rewarding experiences such as food, sex, drugs, and neutral stimuli that become associated with them.

Hah-ha! see? I think that happened. I had coffee, I felt happy. My brain/body now associates an intake of coffee with the release of dopamine. And before you ask, no, i didn't have sex,or take drugs, or recall any particular neutral stimuli during my accounting lecture. So i think we can pretty much pin it on the coffee.

Aisy. or maybe it was merely one of those weird things that just happen. no chemical reactions involved.

Little bunny foo foo,
Hopped into the forest,
Scooping up the field mice
and kissing them on the head.

haha. nasib baik kakak taught me this delightful song(nursery ryhme?)

oh!oh! feel good song. Go, be off and feel all warm and fuzzy!


edit: la hai, i checked the post and saw there was actually 3 different play thingies all for the same song. haish. over-excited

Perubahan Ketara

It has just turned 7.17 am, according to my computer clock. A new day. If you look out the window you'd see that it's another cloudy one. The ground is wet, and as the cars pass by you can hear the squelch of water beneath the tires.

I am listening to Don't I Hold You by Wheat(excellent song, excellent), my roommate is still tucked safely under her blanket, and I'm reveling in this quiet moment and the opportunity to blog. It's still early. Plenty of time to panic over homework to do and things to get into order later on.

I find that it's best to properly listen to music when the you are lying in bed and it's dark(i.e: before going to sleep at night or early in the morning). Maybe it's scientific. Being in the dark and not being able to see probably heightens your sense of sound. ye ke? probably. Anyway, i was listening to Death Cab's album Plans, and i must concede it's quite solid. I like it. And i got the soundtrack for Once! whee.

Things i've learned in the past week:

1. Quality alone time is delicious.
2. Decent socializing sessions can be just as good, if not better.
3. Don't cling on too hard to the people whose company you enjoy. it's better for everyone that way, including yourself.

Let's see. my clock now says 7.34 am, Selfish Jean by Travis, roommate's up and about, and there's some motor running outside. a new day all busy already.

Manhattan

hello. point form!

• I'm supposed to be reading up on the structure of court hierarchies at the moment, for my additional law subject. but it's getting less fascinating, and my attention span has expired for the moment.
• speaking of law, isn't it weird that i'm learning the basics about Australia's constitution(and finding it somewhat interesting-for now at least), padahal i'm malaysian and don't really know much about our own constitution? shameful! well, technically we did learn it back in sejarah form 5, but i've forgotten most of it. i should reread the whole shebang. anyone got a sejarah form 5 buku teks lying around?

• Grazias banyak2 to the people who did me the favour i asked in the previous post!: Ferociously Fantastic Fiqah, Alarmingly Awesome Aijud, Indescribably Incredible Inaaz, Atrociously Amazing Aman, Deliciously Delightful Diyana, Killer Krazy Kakak. haha.
• I thought up all your super-dipuji-names last night while i was trying my damnest to fall asleep. terrer,no? or, failing that-lame, no?
  
• i couldn't think of any flattering words starting with 'K'. sorry kakak.
• oklah, Stunningly Superb Shazana.
  
• to all of you yang tak jawab my question(except shao min): Hey cepat jawab. find the decency in your heart to humour me. if you don't know what i'm talking about and are all bewildered, refer to previous post.
• Nani!my dose of Montreal Marvelousness(couldn't think of any nice words starting with 'n'. well. besides the word 'nice' itself). repondez ma question, s'il vous plait!
• ouch. dah pening looking at all these bullets.

Oh wait! i got one. Never-endingly Nice Nani. haha, this is fun. my new pastime.

Have you ever heard Kotaro Oshio's guitar cover of Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence? i never even considered you could play guitar like that. a mind-opener. I am pleasantly awed.

Kings of Leon. New album. Only By The Night. September 23rd. HOLY SHIT I'M EXCITED. if they. come to Melbourne. to promote new album. i. must. see. them. i. HAVE.TO.

Roar. they put up this teaser clip on their website, and i'm half in love with that snippet of a song already.

seriously, if they come here, i won't miss them/only take notice when tickets have sold out. like Vampire Weekend. and The Wombats. and, um, Death Cab for Cutie.(Hoi Ayang APESAL YOU MISSED SO MANY SHOWS? dulu kat malaysia you were the one going on and on about taking advantage of Melbourne being on the gig circuit. bite your tongue).

aisy. I knowwww.

phwoar. i'm listening to one of their other songs that's going to be on the new album, called Manhattan. damnit, they're awesome.

Take 274. lights, camera, ACTION!

falling slowly

thursday night, and i can't sleep.

i've just finished watching Once, managed to borrow it from the library. aijud/kakak/nani/whoever watched this movie and said it was nice, i must concur. i liked it very much. and i thought that the ending scene, with Falling Slowly playing in the background was spot on.

trivia. did you know that song won an Oscar for best original song?

I must say, it's one of those songs that manages to lift your spirits. it's such a sad but hopeful song.

hey. i tag you. list down something that makes you happy, or cheers you up a bit. tell me something i wouldn't know. let's make it three things.

for me:

1. the word 'tranquil'. it reminds me of turning a bottle filled with water upside down, and the bubble of air goes to the other end of the bottle.

2. the way Homer Simpson looks so intelligent when he wears glasses to read something.

3. the smell of flour and i like to eat raw chocolate chip cookie batter.

ok?tell me. i mean YOU. nani, aijud, fiqah, anna, aki, syefik, kero, al, firdaus, kakak, kye, aman, shao and jia yee(even though we're roommates, type it out for me anyway!), elaine and wee(if you're reading), wuil ling and wei leong, boon xian, inaaz, diyana izzati :), sal, afnan, juwa, fatin, syiqin, fifa. anonymous readers(if i have any, which i doubt but hey, a girl can be delusional), you're super welcome as well.

i'm listing everyone i know that may be reading(or not) so that you'll take this request seriously. jot down 3 things(or more!) that membuatkan anda gembira. can be something major, or just something really small or silly, whatever goes. write it on your blog or just pop it in the comment box. no need to tag other people if you don't want to, just consider it a favour to me, yah? i'm genuinely curious.

maybe we'll have something in common.

I was thinking of doing one of those emo posts, yesterday, albeit a slightly cheerful one, because after all, it's the start of a new semester. a fresh beginning(well, not as fresh as a new year, but i'll take anything i can get), a sign that it's time to change! it's our cue to morph into that beautiful butterfly(in other words, a person that's smart, funny, independent, matured,etc.) we've been waiting to turn into ever since we cocooned ourselves and went to sleep several lifetimes ago.

why i have this mindset that it takes the start of something new to be the catalyst for change is beyond me, but there you have it. but anyway, i then lost the will to blog and decided to snuggle up with my Agatha Christie book and 4 keping biskut marie instead.

This morning, as i sat on my bed -the apartment all quiet because my roommates had left for class- i was struck(well, not struck. more like, gently nudged) by this slight feeling of dread. what triggered it? the fact that i was thinking of the things to do today, and on top of the list was to go get meat, a fortnightly activity i usually end up doing alone.

aisy! in that one thought it all came crashing back. alone. now i could identify what that nagging feeling at the back of my mind was when i thought about coming back to melbourne the last few days i was in KL. how could i forget? this dread of being alone. of solitary trips to get meat. walking on my own to uni. hearing people all around me in lectures talking to each other while i stare straight ahead, willing the lecturer to hurry up and begin.

for someone so anti-social, it's funny how i dislike this solitude i've brought upon myself.

***

"but you're in melbourne!", i can hear H exclaiming to me, frustrated with my lack of enthusiasm to go back, frustrated with me as a person. "it's supposed to be fun".

***

things haven't been so great. well, they've been fine, but at times it seems like i'm in deep shit, and that feeling of self-loathing doesn't really go away. I know i am being selfish for having the audacity to feel sad because let's face it, i have no problems. no proper ones, anyway. and knowing i am selfish adds to the reasons i dislike myself.

but i think it's fair to say this in itself may pose as a problem. i complain and then i get mad at myself for complaining, which in turn causes me to complain... .and it seemed that as long as i kept this to myself and not let loose my insanity upon other people, it'd be fine. but it gets tiring. i am growing tired of being sad and then being mad because of feeling sad. it's a frustrating cycle.

but hey. it's a new semester. and while you and i both know new semesters mean squat in the grand scheme of things, it's still something. it's time for something different. it's time to go back to God, and say sorry, and hope He'll forgive me again. and it's time to hope this blog won't be a hallmark of hypocrisy. and it's time to hope the self-loathing stops. it's time to be a better friend. it's time to be a better person.

Rilo Kiley explains it so well. thank you to kye's friend who put it up on her blog, who'll never read this but i hope my gratitude will get through. telepathically, perhaps.


Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs
I know I can't breathe
And hope someone will save me this time
And your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that god never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you love things just because
Like the sick and dying

And sometimes when you're on
You're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you
But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
And you'll be better
You'll be smarter
More grown up and a better daughter or son
And a real good friend
And you'll be awake
You'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all of your friends
And you'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest
You'll be brave
You'll be handsome and you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them

Rilo Kiley - Better Son/Daughter

Mind the Gap

Part E(E for England!)

but beforehand, i just want to share the joy of listening to this gem of a song. Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong's duet for Summertime, which was actually composed by Gershwin! for an opera.

A song to make anyone wrap their hands around someone and slow dance to. a version of jazz i can fully appreciate.

London. I liked London very much. Mind you, we didn't stay there for that long, so i didn't actually get around to seeing much of it. but the bit that i did see, i liked.

The first day we arrived there, we took the tube to Liverpool Station, and then walked to the hotel we were staying at, maneuvering through alleys and roads, all the while dragging our luggage( can you imagine a time before bags had wheels?).

I, for one, am super impressed by their tube system.

Stayed there for a night, then the next day we took a flight to Rome. this is where we took the picture that has become my favourite out of all the pictures we took while on vacation.

While waiting for the bus to take us to the airport.

I know it's not a picture of a London sight or anything, but who cares. can't remember what we were laughing at, but we were laughing. and that makes me happy whenever i look at it.

When we got back from Rome, stayed in London for a couple more nights. spent a day walking along Oxford Street, which is where all the shops are, phwoar. Sale season on Oxford Street is madness. me and mom literally had to tear ourselves from the shops.

Oh! Dad managed to get tickets for us to go watch Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap at St. Martin's theatre while we were there!so that was awesome. my very first play. Apparently it's the longest-running play ever.

And, of course, we went to kakak's graduation.

in full regalia.

my sister's all grown up. haih. excuse me while i go ponder the passing of time, the eternal circle of life, how she used to look like a boy and how i bit her butt when i was four.

couple more rome pics.

Colosseum at night.

See those statues? They were all around at St. Peter's Square. Bernini's sculptures of saints. there were about 144(144 ke? hmm. a lot la) of them.

Thank you to kakak for for taking care of all the arrangements for the trip. Thank you dad for letting me come along.Thank you God for letting it all go smoothly and keeping everyone safe.

I'd never fully realized how good Coldplay's The Scientist is. hmm. My sister says their new album is goooood. but then again, she got to see them live(twice!bloody front row seats!), so her opinion might not be so objective.

I DO have a soul somewhere inside me, you know. i'm not plastic. but i feel like it sometimes. Songs like The Scientist help melt the plastic a little bit.

cheers, to a new term. may it be better for everyone.

beberapa gambar

all pictures courtesy of my dad. the only one rajin enough to wield the camera tirelessly.

these are from rome(I hope you like these, aijud! go to rome!)

Colosseum

Ruins(durr). See the aquaduct?

The tribute monument to Vittorio Emmanuel II! I know the pic doesn't really do the building justice, but spot the the goddess on the chariot at the top!

Behold, the girl trying to get a piece of food stuck to her teeth out with her tongue or something. and the buffoon chomping pizza. (guess what the topping was. potatoes!yergh. not a good combination, in my opinion).

Trevi fountain.
Spanish steps, baby.
another picture of me unattractively stuffing myself while my sister does a face. gotta love/hate/find it irritatingly amusing.
St Peter's Square

Pompei! And that, my friend, is the volcano Mount Vesuvius that buried the place. Last errupted in 1944.

More next time. and some london pics.

I'm back to melbourne tomorrow.

I think i need to perk up. yesterday before falling asleep, i was thinking of calling up the Befrienders, for God's sake.

This year's love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
I've been waiting on my own too long

Won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing "ain't this life so sweet"

This year's love had better last.

excerpts from David Gray's This Year's Love. Haiya. whack me on the head with the sentimental shovel, why don't you.

Prossima Fermata

Part I(I for Italy!)

Section R(R for Rome!)

Oh, where do I start. I suppose I can start by saying that Italians fascinate me. they seem languid, fashionable, confident, have a penchant for dressing standards that outstrips the decency standard-by how much depends on where you're from. and the language! I'd never really taken an interest in Italian, but after hearing it properly all around me in Rome, i must concede that it really is a beautifully expressive language, i love the way it's all lilting and lolls around the tongue.

The sights? of course, the first place we went to was the Colosseum. this must be one of the most touristy spots on the entire planet. don't be afraid to be caught dead looking like those frightful tourists you see sometimes-go ahead and wear those shorts, clip on the fanny pack, sling your big-ass SLR around your neck and wear a cap and a backpack, almost two-thirds of the people around you are dressed exactly alike! The Colosseum itself is impressive, of course, but i suppose the whole experience was a bit tainted by the fact that it's so touristy to the point of being suffocating.

But i think it's awesome how Rome has ruins and sculptures and arches and aqueducts and whatnot scattered all over the place(there were even ruins they turned into cat shelters!). I think one of the sights that had me most awe-inspired was the Vittorio Emmanuel II monument(which is actually not ancient so to speak, built recently in 1911), which just takes grand to a whole new level. I mean, it IS quite a monstrous building, all big and square, but I love the statue at the top of a woman with wings(a goddess, apparently), riding a chariot pulled by four horses. it's beautiful. It's crazy awesome, as Demetri Martin would say.

Another brilliant building was the Pantheon. Go inside, and you'd see how stunningly perfect it's built.

of course, how could i forget to mention these? St Peter's Square(hello Bernini!), Vatican City, the Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain.

We took a day trip out to Naples!and!and!we went to POMPEI!

ignorance alert: i actually thought Pompei was an island(must have confused it with Krakatoa) and was somewhere in Greece. i didn't even know the city was preserved under all the volcano ash and whatnot when it erupted. i was under the impression the island just blew up or sunk into the sea or something(once again, may have been confusing it with Krakatoa). i blush with embarrassment.

Pompei was amazing. the ruins were just as awe-inspiring as Siem Reap's Angkor Wat. it was fantastic. well, i loved it. the American family we passed by had a teenage son complaining "it's so damn hot", which was true, because it was damn hot, but i think it was worth it.

Despite all the walking and successive visits from one place to the next, there was still time for some contemplation and a little ruminating. like this thought: it's hard to find someone you truly feel at ease with. someone who you feel can understand you or at least tries to just as much as you try for them. so when you do meet someone like that, i suppose it's best to hold on tightly. don't let them slip away, or if they do anyway, don't let them go without the knowledge you tried to give it a go.

sometimes i read random peoples' blogs and i see how they're always expressing affection for various different people so heartily and frequently, and sometimes i think:"alah, macam betul je you have that many friends you're so super close with. i bet it's superficial", and that's the cynical(and dengki, i suppose) side of me talking, and sometimes i think:"you lucky bastard/bitch. why is it so easy for you to find so many people you're so comfortable with?".

anyway, Rome is awesome. there were tons of places we didn't get the chance to visit, like the Villa Borghese and St Angelo's bridge,etc, there's just so many things to see.

p/s:the title of the post, 'Prossima Fermata', is actually italian for 'next stop'. we rode the metro in rome quite a lot, so i grew quite used to the automated speaker saying "prossima fermata, .....(name of next stop)".

Countdown to the dissappointment

thanksgiving! the feeling of imminent dread has passed, for the moment at least, so let's toast one another with our glasses, link our arms and take a sip.

in the week and a half i've been back, i've managed to gain weight. it even invoked some sort of mini depression(oklah, it wasn't depression but just let me be melodramatic for a second), the kind where you think you're ugly. uglier. whatever. and you think you're so monstrous you scare people away. like literally, i could have sworn people moved away when i stood next to them. haih. woe befalls the ogress.

i dread the day i have to go see the relative who, almost without fail comments on my weight every time she sees me.

"Ayang...you've put on weight ah?"

and i dream of the day i can respond to that relative by giving her my brightest smile and say

"ah-ah xxxxxx, i guess i have. it's funny kan how i seem to gain weight every time you see me? at the rate this is going, tak lame lagi i'll meletup".

Say Anything's Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too has been on constant replay, and while the lyrics make me slightly uncomfortable(who on earth wants to sing a song about a guy listening to a girl touch herself over the phone?), i totally dig the combination of just drums and the keyboard.

haircut, the (pointless) story.

I went to cut my hair. After constant but gentle prodding by my mother as well as grandmother ("ni taknak potong rambut ke ni?rimas la"), i had to concede that i was beginning to look like an english sheepdog once more(happens every time i keep my hair long), so off we went to the salon.

it's a long story, but i ended up at a salon where the stylists spoke practically no english (they're from china), but prodded at my hair(and head) so enthusiastically, i hadn't the heart to get up from the chair and leave. at one point there were three people simultaneously lifting strands of my hair and massaging my head and neck up to a point i burst out laughing(but i recovered quickly,so no worries).

now, i have a bad history with hair stylists. the thing is, when it comes to hair, i'm clueless. i don't care how you cut my hair, just make it look nice. when a stylist tries to explain to me how layering will make my face look longer, or how i should change my parting, i'll thoughtfully nod my head while they speak-as if i'm actually considering how the haircut will turn out- before cutting in and saying "ok!". and when they're done turning my hair into a poodle or making me look like a man, i'll pay and say thank you through gritted teeth before rushing off and vowing to be more assertive the next time i cut my hair. only to repeat the whole cycle again a couple months later when i finally get around to the salon again.

so unfortunately, the same thing happened again. but it's not so bad, i guess. my hair looks like a cross between a mushroom and Carol Brady's hair(you know...the mom from The Brady Bunch?). it actually looks kind of cute, and if i were one of those tiny adorable kawaii girls who flashes the peace sign every 2 seconds, it would totally work, but who am i kidding! i'm the sullen malay ogress. hear me roar. and watch as my ridiculous hair flicks around as i shake my head from side to side.

i'm off on a trip tomorrow. i hope it's fun!

Shit i'm scared about my results.

souls made in china

Ayam masak kicap. check.

masak lemak pucuk manis. check.

nasi lemak and paru. double check.

KFC!check!!

roti canai. check.

asam laksa. check.

pengat durian!check!

mee kari. check.

nasi ayam. check.

Belum check:
Nasi kandar.
Nasi briyani.
Yong tau foo.
Putu piring.
Ayam masak merah.
Burger king. i want to murder a whopper. whopper jr. no, a whopper.
Kuay teow goreng yang sedap.
mangga.

anti-social tendencies are increasing in frequency. worrying. very worrying.

i can't see them, but mosquitoes are feasting on my legs.

I wish we had uniformed spellings for all english words. that way the stupid squiggly red lines won't appear when i type out 'favourite', rather than 'favorite'. and i wouldn't have to remember which one uses 'z' and which one uses 's'. realized? realised? paralyze? paralyse? I get the feeling that there are different spellings because the americans and the british masing-masing were too cocky to bow down to the other party's way of spelling. Submit to their way? as bloody if. no, we'll just maintain our own spelling methods. who cares about the inhabitants of all the other countries who might want to write in english.

at this moment, there's not enough hours in a day.

I've had the opportunity to go to a few malaysian philharmonic orchestra shows, and the only show that managed to make me sit up and pay attention to the whole thing was the one that featured a pianist(some famous terrer dude) who played this effing awesome piece by Maurice Ravel(La Valses Nobles et Sentimentales) and i also remember he played this trio of preludes by Gershwin, which was also fantastic. The rest of the shows, unfortunately, have become nothing but a memory of boredom. I feel somewhat guilty about this because the pieces played at those other shows were mostly by composers like Mozart or Bach who are akin to being the Elvis Presley or Jimi Hendrix of classical music and i can't even get through one of their sonatas without my mind wandering off. Sorry, Mr Mozart. Sorry, Senor Bach. Their music is amazing, i'm sure, but i just haven't learned to appreciate it properly.The first 10 minutes of any of those shows would be fine, but after that i'd grow bored and start fidgeting. to get through it i'd usually watch the audience members in front me, especially those people who'd be really into the music up to the extent of closing their eyes and bobbing their heads along with the symphony.

Anyway, i reckon if i went to a Ryuichi Sakamoto show, or if the philharmonic orchestra decided to showcase his compositions, i doubt i'd be whiling the minutes away by watching bobbing heads. no. because ryuichi sakamoto kicks ass. I was gushing about his piece Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence a while back, did you listen to it? probably not, but i so wish you would. and i wish you'd listen to Railroad Man, which is this other piano piece which is just so pretty and sad and a bit hopeful all at the same time, gah.

oklah. i'll make it easier for you.

take a hint and press the play button. but only if you trust my music taste, because if not it'd just be a waste of your time.

I do realize sometimes that i'm over-doing this whole song suggestion thing(i'm not merely suggesting, i'm practically ramming it down your throat). sorry. but when i like a song tremendously, i get this irresistible urge to shout about it from rooftops and tell as many people as i can about it. i'm pretty sure it's something psychological.

speaking of good songs, i'm digging The Verve's new single Love is Noise. Plus, I watched the clip of them playing it at Glastonbury recently on youtube, and it looks quite epic.

i'm trying to come up with some witty finishing line.

still thinking.

hmm.

it seems my wit has disappeared. if i had any in the first place, that is.

Silent Sigh

shall we go for the direct and mundane today?

picture this. i am riding a tram, in the middle of the city. It has been raining all morning, the ground is wet, the umbrella has been mobilized into action, and I'm somewhat miffed because the rain has hampered my visit to the market in Camberwell, which was, unfortunately, open air.

But no matter. I sit in the tram and stare out at the shops and restaurants and people walking about. I'm smack in the middle of the city, on Elizabeth Street, and as i stare out the window, i'm suddenly temporarily awed by the things i see and for a moment i think i love this city. I love it for the little lanes chock full of cafes and music stores with all the cds i could never find back home, and for its coffee culture and fashionable inhabitants, for being on the gig circuit, for having-

but wait a second, i interrupt my train of reasons why i love melbourne. for one thing, these same reasons could probably be applied to any other significant western city. therefore, i reason, i do not love melbourne for itself, i just assume i do because it happens to be the first city where i am able to experience these things. and, not to be nit-picky or anything, i haven't even been to a concert here yet.

ah. ye tak ye. well, aside from the concert thing(must find concert-partner), i love-well, maybe not love. not yet. i'm fond of melbourne for that very reason. that it's the first city that i can actually explore, if i take the initiative. that it's within walking distance of our apartment, that i feel familiar with a portion of Swanston street more than any street in downtown KL. i've never actually explored KL. never been to a gig there. never checked out the flea markets. never searched out the best kopitiam or nasi kandar stall(though i do believe the one at sungei wang's foodcourt kicks ass). I don't think i've actually been to Tugu Negara. i should.

what i'm saying is, it's funny that the first city i happen to be able to properly try and embrace turned out to be a foreign one. oh, don't get me wrong. i'm not saying melbourne is better and more interesting than KL. i'm sure KL is awesome once you get to experience it and see all the nooks and crannies. it's just that i haven't, and here i am a few thousand kilometers away exploring(oklah, not even exploring, just grazing the surfaces) of a different city.

p/s: i had ice cream yesterday with Anna and Mai, who are going to Tasmania today! lucky girls. hope you guys have fun.

Alone again, naturally

with some people, you want to go "reciprocate damnit. don't leave me hanging here".

but you can't just telepathically send a message like that, can you? expecting someone to get it and to act upon it appropriately. it just doesn't work that way.

and the lamest part is when you try to convince yourself that you'll get over them and move on, only to find that you haven't done any of that and that you're still clinging on, when in fact that person has long since let go. or worse, was never actually holding on in the first place.

and so you laugh and you chuckle(because you have long since figured out that anger or sadness is wasted on such things), and you work out the funny side.

the best thing about such situations is that they motivate you to blog because they're not the kind of thing you can actually tell a friend without feeling astoundingly foolish.

the other day i walked about the city with Azrieal, and i had a bagel that has managed to etch itself in my memory as a very, very, very yummy bagel. a perfectly toasted sesame-seed bagel spread with cream cheese, topped with salmon, avocado, and some sort of veggie(rocket?).

i should put up a picture. lame dah tak letak gambar.that's azrieal. Red sweater, a hat that reminds me of Pete Doherty, camera slung around the neck, eating fries. I must give props to him for a) going on the excursion with me in the first place and b) being fully capable of leading the way. all i had to do was walk whichever way he directed, which is relief, because my sense of navigation sucks. as a result, if i ever want to go back to that shop that served the yummy bagel on my own i'd probably get lost, but no matter. i had fun.

last saturday jia yee and i attempted to go jogging. for some reason prior to the attempt, i had somehow conjured visions of myself jogging blissfully at this nice park near our appartment, with the cool chill of autumn(winter?) and songs from my ipod as my pleasant companions.

i snort.

two minutes into jogging, i remembered one vital fact that had somehow managed to escape my delightful jogging daydreams, namely, the fact that i hate jogging.

i suppose it has to do with my own lack of stamina, but yergh, i hate jogging. reminds me of those merentas desa we used to have to do back in school every year. i shudder. i'd be one of those unfortunate students yang tak sempat a few hundred meters dah pancit. hmm. pancit. what an appropriate description.

Alone Again, Naturally by Gilbert O'Sullivan has got to be one of the saddest songs. tune-wise it may not sound like it, but combined with the lyrics it's just heartfelt sadness all the way.

In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top, will throw myself off
In an effort to make it clear to whoever
What it's like when you're shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Where people saying: "My God, that’s tough
She's stood him up"
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally.

Sleep beckons, and so i bid farewell.

technicolour

Why, hello there.

I've got Adele, Badly Drawn Boy and Kings of Leon playing on my playlist, i've (metaphorically) cracked my knuckles and loosen my neck muscles, and i'm now typing this with the determination to finish it to the end and actually click that lovely orange 'publish post' button at the bottom of the page.

It's funny. blogging is, so to speak, the one and only activity i actually feel comfortable doing (well, besides the obvious sleeping and eating and listening to music), something that comes as a natural extension of myself(hello. melodramatic a bit) and yet for the past week whenever it came to sitting down and writing a post, i'd spend half an hour staring at the blank white box before eventually conceding to the fact that i had no clue what to write.

the urge to blog is there, but to actually get around to blogging about some subject matter is the problem.

We all know that when we blog, we take into consideration our readers' perspective, yes? that is, we blog somewhat indirectly based on what we think the person reading might think of it. i know, i know, that may not be the case for everyone(i can see all the indignant people out there puffing out there chests and proclaiming that they blog to discover themselves/to keep in touch with friends/ to just jot down thoughts and don't give a damn about other people's perceptions,etc,etc), but let's just assume that the majority of people do, yes? i'm not saying that we'd blog for the sole purpose of pleasing readers, i acknowledge that we blog because we are motivated to express our own thoughts and such. but when we do blog, we adjust our posts in a way that would suit readers, si? if not why would we attempt to make a post funny, or ask feedback from those reading, or put up songs and videos? if not, why bother blogging at all? why not just do word documents?

right. well. My problem is, i've taken this whole other-people's-perceptions-taken-into-consideration thingie to a whole new level.

for one thing, i can barely get through 3 sentences without worrying whether i'm coming off as some self-indulgent prick. i am often plagued by this idea that i should at least blog about something not so bimbotic(no such word as bimbotic apparently, i checked dictionary.com) every once in a while. and when i do work some steam over an opinion i then wonder if i know anyone who practices or condones the very thing i'm ranting against and whether i would offend them. and then, when i've finished a paragraphe like this very one i'm writing, a paragraph that outlines all my shortcomings, i am worried it'll sound like i'm fishing for sympathy and a nice person to coo that i'm worrying too much and that i should blog whatever i feel like.

it's like this daydream i had when i was younger. i had this vision of an elf(or was it myself, i can't remember) looking into this trapdoor, and in the trapdoor there was another elf looking into another trapdoor and another elf looking into yet another trapdoor within and so on. it was endless.

same thing here. once you start wondering about the thoughts of your readers(or imaginary readers), it doesn't stop. there will always be something within a something within a something that you think about that hinders blogging progress.

oh, ayang. you are one lame over-analyst.

Ryuichi Sakamoto kicks ass, by the way.

i'll blog properly someday soon.

okay. good night.

sensibility

Afnan's tag, yo.

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Sure, why not. then i can break into song a la Kylie Minogue ("baybee when i saw you,for the first time i knew-we were meant to be in lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve"), with funny looking back-up dancers in the background.

2. Have you ever felt stupid? Why?
Why, what an excellent question. Yes, i've felt stupid too many times, in fact. i have exceeded the quota for number of times one should feel stupid. why? for a varying range of reasons, some quite obvious, others more obscure. who would have thought that a 2 dollar australian coin could make me feel stupid?

3. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Oh give me a hooooome, where the buffaloes roaaaam, where the deers and the antelopes plaaaaaaay....where seldom is heaaaaard, a discouraging woooord, and the skies are not cloudy all daaaaaay.

4. If you can have one dream come true, what would it be?
I'd want the pelampung dream to come true, that'd be good(i blogged a bit about a certain pelampung dream some time ago. if you can't remember and can't be bothered to look it up, good on you. it's not worth looking up, seriously. and i'd want the dream that made me snort hari tu to come true too.

5.Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
It'd be so much more fun to answer this question in a literal sense, rather than the silver-lining metaphorical sense. Yes, i believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain. In fact there was this one time me and my sister saw two rainbows at once after it rained, which was fantastic, save for the fact we were stuck in a traffic jam at that time surrounded by depressed drivers.

6. Do you like being who you are today?
Aisy. i'm tired of these questions. can i answer them with things i did today? my exams are finished, yo.

7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
I borrowed dvds and went on a mini-shopping stint avec ma camarade de chambre, Jia Yee. My last paper was for french tadi. did you know that in french, potatoes are called pommes de terre, which litterally translates to 'apples of the ground'? it got me thinking, why are potatoes named after apples, why not the other way around? then i realized that wah, the french are very pandai. it's so much prettier to say 'apples of the ground' rather than 'potatoes of the tree', no?

8. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Bring on the movies! the food! the chick lit! God, chick lit would be good now. oh oh! Bring on the Kings of Leon Aha Shake Heartbreak album, yeaaaaa!


9. who are the top 5 people in world you would like to meet?

ho-ho, i dug this up from one of the drafts back in march, when uni first started.

"And to be honest, I think I’m still suffering from culture shock, in a sense. For one thing, suddenly there’s mat salleh everywhere. And, for some reason that may seem stupid and bizarrely wacko, I am intimidated by them. And I detest the fact I am intimidated by them because that seems to insinuate that I subconsciously consider them superior to asians. And that’s just fucking dumb, because they’re not. We’re equal, maybe in different ways, but we are. Aren’t we? And there’s that paranoia of racism. Not open, I-hate-you-because-you’re-asian-and therefore-not-pure sort of racism, I mean, the subtle, sub-conscious kind. Like serving caucasian patrons better in a restaurant. Or behaving more warmly towards mat salleh as compared to non mat salleh.

Chop, recap here. It’s only a paranoia. I’m not saying it’s actually happened. ok?

I feel irrepressibly dorky next to those confident aussie people. I’m the awkward asian dweeb. A.A.D.".

i wonder if my perceptions have changed.

10. What are the requirements you wish from your other half?
Who are you people and why are you so happening?

I swear, if anything fuels the fires of ‘the grass is greener…’, it would be facebook. with facebook, you feel like life is one big party where everyone already knows each other, but for some reason you’ve missed out on an invitation.

Damn these online networking utilities.

11. Which type of car do you love the most?
This obligation to please people, it gets tiresome every once in a while. please your uncles and aunties, please your cousins, please the salespeople, please the people on the street handing out brochures, please your tutor, please yourself.

12. Please put one quote below.
'I'm not a vegetarian because i love animals, i'm a vegetarian because i hate vegetables'. i read that quote in the papers or a magazine and i can't remember who said it, but i thought it was amusing.

13. If you have faults, would you rather people point them out to you, or would you rather they keep quiet?
i'm sorry afnan, i'll make it up to you with a better tag response next time, betul!

14. What is the most important thing in your life?
I'm going to have croissants for breakfast tomorrow.

15. Are you a shopaholic or not?
Azrieal and I endured a sales promo talk at the supermarket just now, all in the name of obtaining a free paring knife.

16.What kind of electronic device/gadget that you own do you like the most?
Apparently the uni had electric devices that detect mobile phones installed in the toilets at the exam building. just in case we were thinking of going to the toilet in the midst of an exam to call up people and ask for answers.("Hi shao, it's me. how do you calculate the purchases when doing budgeting?you don't know? you're not sure? go look it up in the notes in my accounting file. CEPAT! i only got a couple minutes before one of the facilitators start looking for me).

17. If you had the chance, which part of your character would you like to change?
Pancakes and ice cream sound good at the moment.

18. Are you a family woman?
The guy handing out pamphlets just now called me "ma'am". My external reaction as he held the pamphlet to me was "no, thank you". my internal reaction was "hoi ingat aku tua ke ape, ape ma'am-ma'am!".

19. If given the chance, would you want to see your future?
The flashes from the trams as they pass by our apartment remind me of Back to the Future.

20. Will you get married?
We'll see.

Selfish Jean

Listen to this:


Go hafal the lyrics. It's a FABULOUS song to sing and be sad and happy to.

Anna's tag,whoo!
The Rules :

1.Each blogger must post these rules first.
2.Each blogger starts with seven random facts/habits about themselves.
3.Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

7 facts about me:

1. I get wild urges to break into a dance when i'm listening to my ipod while walking to uni. Particularly when listening to some groovy instrumental(think Austin Power's theme song), or during specific parts of good songs, like that interval in No Cars Go by Arcade Fire when the accordian and violin(do i have the right instruments?i'm not sure) comes in.

2. A couple days ago i was dreaming of something(involving some old classmates from high school), and it was so funny i snorted. Which was good, the snort made me wake up in time for subuh.

3. My head isn't symmetrical(but then again, is everyone else's?i'm not sure).The left side is flatter.

4. I pretend that the people in a waiting tram are watching me when i'm walking alone on the sidewalk(it's the exhibitionist in me raring its ugly head).

5. I'm trying to remind myself that knowledge was not meant to be memorised, vomited out during exams, and then forgotten. I'm learning all this to be a kickass accountant, not just to get good grades.

6. I don't see the point of having the autograph of someone famous. other than the fact you might be able to sell it on ebay.

7. I've never worked before.

7 things that scare me:

1. worms, flying cockroaches, non-flying cockroaches, butterflies(come on people, don't be fooled by their supposed prettiness. They're really flying caterpillars. yeesh).

2. going to some event where everyone already knows everyone and i only know one person.

3. realizing i'm screwed when i open an exam paper, scan over the questions and see that i don't know how to answer them. alternatively, it scares me when i'm done answering the paper for the first time round, flip over to start from the beginning again only to find that i skipped so many questions because i didn't know how to answer them. SCARY.

4. i'm scared of accidentally dropping my keys into that gap between the elevator and the floor when i step out of the lift.

5. making people bored. Finding out a person prefers someone else's company rather than your own.

6. The idea of death, and what lies beyond it. not ready yet, you see.

7. People who stand in the middle of the path, blocking your way and asking you to sign a petition/support a cause/donate/etc.

7 songs at the moment:
First four by Kings of Leon:

1.The Runner
2.Knocked Up
3. Trunk
4. Charmer
6. Selfish Jean, by Travis(whoo!click on the play button kat atas tu if you haven't yet,you stubborn,you).
7. Life in Technicolour, by Coldplay(thanks to Nani!)

sidenote:everyone go check out nani's music box on her blog. excellent selection!

7 things i always say:

1. Ye ke? (my multi-purpose, for-all-occasions response)

2. Really?(my multi-purpose, for-all-occasions response. translated.)

Can't think of anything else.

7 people i tag:
Everyone i'd tag either:
a) has been tagged already, or
b)wouldn't do the tag anyway

so the buck stops here,yo. no wait. salah penggunaan expression i think.

eh jap!i know. i tag Juwa!yeah. rasmikan blog anda dgn tag! and i tag salwani(if she's reading). sal, tukar to blogspot la. and update selalu!so i can stalk youuuuuu,haha. and afnan!mari kite saling tag-mengetag.

have you guys been tagged already? kalau dah, abaikan.

crazy awesome

Aiyaiyaiyaiyai.

the word above started off as aiya, then morphed into aiyaiyaiyaiyai. Prolong the lamentation.

I am attempting to do this question, and apparently the way i tried to answer before studying the topic and after i've supposedly studied it is not only wrong on both accounts, it's exactly the same. In fact, i just checked the answer scheme online, and i didn't even tackle the question correctly. i mean, my methods were wrong right from the beginning.

oy.

The fact that my roomate is the queen of hardcore-studying isn't helping either. Jia Yee is hard-working,yo. Hardworking GILE('gile' in caps for full effect). If Jia Yee is an ant in terms of kerajinan, i'm a sloth. If she's a bee in terms of perseverance and excellent work ethics, i'm a sloth. If she's the rajin-est person in uni, i'm still a sloth. A sloth wearing glasses and a selebet blue jumper.

***

Heh.heh.

Why am i heh-heh-ing, you may wonder?(or not wonder,whatever). I am heh-heh-ing because I got my Kings of Leon album(the Because of the Times one), even though i was supposed to wait after exam. Hooray. I am not cheating! This is not wrong! Rather than an incentive, it is now a morale-booster. yeah.

And what a moral-booster it is. I have officially inducted it into my favourite albums list. I know no one would care for an album review, but let me just give a quick mention about two songs.

The Runner-when listening to this, it reminds me of a country song and a lullaby at the same time. It's all soft, punctured by mini build-ups, and i love the background vocals(which is only a tiny bit, mind you), because it seems to give the song this sort of dreamy quality. Every time i listen to it, it gets better.

Trunk-This song starts soft as well, and the tone of the song sorta has this...i don't know, dangerous, dare i say even sexy quality to it, but then it flips over into this pretty, sweet interval, and once again, for me, the background vocals just give it this extra layer(ape bende aku cakap ni?i wish i could convey this properly),which i dig. who knew that a 'wooo' could make so much difference.

yay. I'm too sleepy to muster more enthusiasm, but i am happeeeeyh.

i will launch a fresh attack on the QM1 question tomorrow.

oh, wait a minute. we're supposed to be buddies now.lupe.